Jul 25 2006
Dear Ms. Britton:
Here’s some advice. Put this up on your website, rally your author friends, decry the reviewer’s writing credentials (I have none), and your sales numbers will rise. That is the lemonade of out this lemon.
The heroine in this story is so frustrating that I wished I could reach through the pages ala Jasper Fforde’s books and slap her upside the head. I read somewhere that you keep the bedroom door shut to appeal to your growing youth readership. Let me tell you that even 15 years old appreciate a smart, savvy heroine.
Sarah Tingle is down on her luck. She’s been hired to drive the crew bus for Lance Cooper. Lance Cooper has also hit a rough patch. He hasn’t won a race in over a year. Sarah bakes cookies for Lance’s crew, gives him a respite from the Nascar pressure and fans and helps Lance break through his driving slump. Unfortunately, the course to love is bumpy because Sara can’t let go of her #$*&(#$ insecurities and emotional immaturity to let Lance love her.
To say that I disliked Sara would be like saying that the sun is hot at the equator. Understatement to the nth degree. She says Good Golly. :( I think i am predisposed to disliking anyone who says Good Golly unless they are under the age of 12. She doesn’t know what Lance looks like. She knows nothing about Nascar. (It doesn’t make any sense to google this guy to find out something about him or try to get to know something about Nascar since your whole new job will be devoted to this). She is struck by a several hundred thousand dollar vehicle driven by a guy named Lance coming out of a house owned by Lance. When Lance says that he is pool boy, Sara believes him. Yes, Sara, there is a Santa Clause.
After that moment of inanity, Sara starts to break down about how her life is going to hell in a handbasket (of course, that’s my terminology as Miss Good Golly would never say anything like that). During her crying, Lance is hugging and holding her. Oh, this is a realistic scene. Guys just love it when strange women cry in front of them. They are absolutely going to jump in, cuddle her and say “there, there.” Not unless that woman is Heidi Klum and there is a chance to shag her silly.
Then there is the vehicle for Sara’s breakdown. She used to be a teacher but when photoshopped pictures of her appear in a porn magazine, she gets fired. Hello? Falsified pictures leading to the loss of your job and the degradation of your reputation!!! LAWSUIT? TEACHER’S UNION? Are you kidding me? Can we have even one little dose of realism in this book? If it is going to be a fantasy then don’t market this as a contemporary.
Lance was a bit unbelievable but adorable. When he falls for Sara, he’s not shy about it but Sara, oh she can’t allow herself to be happy. Oh no, she must not fall for Lance. He may break her heart. sob gasp sob. It’s all so terrible so instead of giving this romance with this hot guy who is caring and loving not to mention great in the sack a chance, Sara wraps herself in her self pity. She doesn’t like the fact that he has fans. Or that he has to judge a calendar model contest. Not once has he evinced desire to be with anyone but Sara, the
dumb shit clueless fool, cannot risk her emotions and life on him. Climb on that hot horse and ride it to the freaking altar, girl. At the first sign of trouble in the relationship that comes from an external source, Sarah runs away. Why Lance would even want her at this point is beyond me. Someone run over me with Lance’s car. I can’t take it anymore.
Look when Lance was in the race car? Good stuff. When Lance was talking? Good stuff. When Sarah was crying, moaning about her lot in life? Crappy and unreadable. I am sure that even teens get tired of the self sacrifice martyed shit. Characters like your Sarah don’t deserve a HEA. Your character’s actions are F worthy territory. The rest of the book isn’t but it is not sufficient to save you from getting a C-.