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REVIEW: Game Over by Sahara Kelly

Dear Ms Kelly,

gameover1.gifI’m not a gamer so I’m sure I probably missed some “insider” stuff while reading your latest book but I had a great time laughing my ass off through the rest of it. And I’ve got to admire the chutzpah of having Princess Zara have you as her favorite author.

Poor Princess Zara. She’s got to be the horniest pixilated character in game land. And she’s gonna stay that way, courtesy of the Great Programmers until her hero, Sir Lincoln of Green fights his way to the highest level of the game. What game you ask? Only the best game on sale today, that’s what.

The Mythical Quest for the Illusion of Zara.

Millions had bought the game, millions were playing it even now. But as of yet, nobody&emdash; not one frickin' nimble-fingered mortal twit&emdash;had managed to reach the final level.

Zara glanced automatically at the large LCD screen adorning one wall of her chamber in the Tower of Chaos. The bar up one side was still green, not even approaching the yellow level. The final red bits at the top were distressingly dark.

She knew that once the red bars lit up, so would she. They indicated a player had managed to navigate her hero, the aforementioned Sir Lincoln of Green, over the Mountains of Doom, through the Tunnels of Treachery, beneath the surface in the Sewers of Slime (not forgetting to collect extra bottles of life potion while he was there), past the Forest of Forsythia, across the impossibly dangerous Seas of Evil, and was at last approaching the ultimate battle with Noxious, the fume-laden, acid-spewing, five-headed ferret who guarded the Tower.

If Sir Lincoln managed to defeat that beast, he got to her&emdash;and her endless days of frustration would end. Of course, the triumphant player wouldn't know Sir Lincoln was fucking her brains out in the Tower room, but she sure as hell would.

There was a shitload of stuff that humans didn't know about the video world she ruled. Probably would have made 'em wet their panties if they'd had the first clue too.

I’m telling you Sahara, you came so close to getting an A grade for this one. Why did I get mean and drop the grade? Well, if only Sir Lincoln hadn’t gotten his rocks off (even if he was still wearing his obnoxious green tights) in the Seas of Evil while poor Zara was still under the spell (curse?) of the magical chastity belt which prevented any of the agents sent to ease her suffering from actually easing her frustrated suffering. Hey, if the girl can’t get any then the boy shouldn’t either. Or “point” as Zara said herself. Still, watching the depressed blue elf, the twin brothers from California and Japan, plus the gay vampire fighter try to bring Zara some relief while she waited in the Tower for someone to finally get her hero to her was priceless. Equally funny were the scenes of Sir Lincoln discovering just exactly how he had to persuade the fairy then the mermaid into giving him extra bottles of potion to replenish his life bar. At least those girls got satisfied even if all Sir Lincoln got was potion and a pair of tights that needed to be let out.

I did catch the reference to your writing partner but were there mentions of other authors I missed? And on the cover…is that the Magic Sword or is Sir Lincoln just really glad to see Zara? B+

~Jayne

Another long time reader who read romance novels in her teens, then took a long break before started back again about 15 years ago. She enjoys historical romance/fiction best, likes contemporaries, action- adventure and mysteries, will read suspense if there's no TSTL characters and is currently reading very few paranormals.

3 Comments

  1. Bev(BB)
    Mar 31, 2007 @ 07:42:05

    ROTFL!

    As a fan of quest games, I’d almost be tempted . . . nah. ;p

    ReplyReply

  2. Sahara Kelly
    Mar 31, 2007 @ 10:34:12

    Hello Jayne…wow, you made me laugh too!! Thanks SO much for your kind comments – I’m very thrilled you had fun with this crazy little story.

    In my own defense here, I gotta point out one essential fact…Sir Lincoln’s a GUY! A member of the gender that will sit in front of Victoria’s Secret at the Mall and get…er…happy. And drool at the fourteen-foot poster of an anorexic supermodel with improbably sized breasts who probably threw up everything she’s eaten since she was twelve. And she’s doing something impossible with legs and wings and hair while wearing next to nothing.

    THIS is enough to destroy a man’s control. You have to admit that swimming through caressingly grasping seaweed in little more than pantyhose …well, the poor dude didn’t have a chance. Women, on the other hand – we wrote the book on control. Okay, so I drool over George Clooney now and again, but overall? We can handle it. Guys don’t stand a chance of overcoming their urges.

    I hope you’ll permit me the honor of adding a few of your comments to my website – they’re too priceless not to quote!!! (No, I only cited my writing partner. I wasn’t sure if any other writers would appreciate the mention. I knew he would get it! LOL)

    So again, many many thanks for your kindness in selecting my story to read and for sharing your thoughts – I’m profoundly grateful. It’s wonderful to start my weekend with a smile!

    Cheers,
    Sahara Kelly

    ReplyReply

  3. Jayne
    Mar 31, 2007 @ 16:47:17

    Quote away. I’m glad you enjoyed the review.

    Re: VC models and seaweed. OK, I can see where you’re coming from. Or where they’re coming from. Or how they come. Or…I’d better stop there.

    ReplyReply

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