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REVIEW: Pleasure 2035 by Cameo Brown

Notice: The whole review is really a summary of what the fuckedness so if you plan to read the book and don’t want to be spoiled, click away.

Dear Readers:

pleasure_2035_49b98ddccd6ddI can’t remember who chose this book for me to read during #RRTheatre (wherein I roast bad porn) but the premise was “have sex or die.” We thought that the plot promised some hijinks at least. Grammatically this Ravenous book wasn’t as poor as previous titles, but the editing was still abysmal. I had a feeling that this was supposed to be some kind of campy send up of futuristics but because it lacked any coherency, it was just a mess inducing unintentionally hilarious moments.

The basics of the worldbuilding that I could glean from the story is this.   There was a Great Fall and society split into Blacks and Blues.   Blacks were more technoliterate and Blues had more money.   There was a renewable energy source namd pilox that was the subject of much dissension between the Blues and Blacks.   There is a revolutionary group that no one knows about and there is the ability to infect someone with vampirism as well as the ability to cure it by creating a serum from a pregnant woman, although it destroys the fetus.

The story opens with our heroine (and I use this term very loosely as there is little heroic about these characters), Mayflower, in a three by six foot box designed for pleasure bots. Mayflower is pretending to be a pleasure synth. She is awaiting Klyper Corporation to pick her up and return her to her warehouse where she can return to someone named “Dime”. While she is waiting, the door of her unit opens and a man wrenches her out. He informs her that she will spread her thighs for him or they’ll both be dead.

Jovinius Markus Artinuous doesn’t buy Mayflower’s acting job and warns her “if you don’t do as I say when my clients get here, I’ll rip your fucking head off and shove it up your ass. Do you understand, Synthia?” There is no real explanation for why Mayflower is in this box designed for pleasure bots or why it is attached to Jove/Mark’s apartment. There is no real explanation for why Jove/Mark is a male prostitute/gigolo. Nor is there any real coherent worldbuilding. It is important that I lay out these precepts early on so that farther into the review when readers might ask “why”, they can answer their own query with “It’s RRTheatre”.

Mayflower is both excited and terrified by this assault. Her terror stems from her mistaken belief that Jove/Mark might be a synthbot. A synthbot is characterized by “his strength, his unusual good looks, his large cock, the freaky name, and his bad manners.” But Jove/Mark is not a synthbot. He is something else and when he kissed her jugular, her “pussy twitched” in response. She gives her tacit agreement to perform for these clients of Jove/Mark’s with the proviso that he not show them her “tits.” Mayflower, you see, has only one nipple.

Mayflower and Jove/Mark engage in sexual congress in front of Jove/Mark’s clients, the Dostens. Dostens are lithac traders. Lithac is a potent, addictive drug which apparently turns people into mindless children. Witness, for example, the behavior of drugged out Mrs. Dosten:

“I want you to lick her pussy, then fuck her “til she screams,” Janis blurted, ending her words with a giddy giggle.

and

“I’m horny! I’m horny!” she chanted, her head rolling this way and that as if she alternately searched something on the ceiling and all four walls.

Despite actually being at Jove/Mark’s place for watching and then having sex, Mr. Dosten is thoroughly disgusted with his wife and proceeds to slap her. This pushes Jove/Mark to get on with the show. He realizes that his instincts were correct when he smells her arousal.

She’d almost convinced him, but pussies don’t lie. They don’t cry either, unless they’re excited, and hers wept.

Pussy wept. Good thing that Mayflower responds to threats of violence and enjoys fucking strangers for voyeurs. Pussies aren’t the only thing that weeps. “Mr. Dosten’s erection dripped.” “His erection dripped down her thigh, eliciting a burst of her own woman’s cream.” “A burst of her woman’s cream spilled down her thighs…” “…come filling her and dripping between them onto the sheets.” “Mark erupted inside her, his come gushing down her thighs.” “…as more cream dripped from her swollen pussy.” “Mayflower’s body ached…her pussy dripped.”

Mark/Jove are so good together that Mr. Dosten cannot wait for his turn. This enrages Mark/Jove and he physically prevents Mr. Dosten from touching Mayflower. A scrap ensues wherein Mrs. Dosten jumps on Mark/Jove’s side and then he feels a “creamy liquid cascading down his side.” This description made me think that Mrs. Dosten may have leaked all over Mark/Jove. Someone on twitter suggested that it was blood and that Mark/Jove may have had different colored blood. This was dispelled by a later passage that described his blood as “ruby”. Make of this what you will. (Screencap).

Mayflower saves the day by pushing the Dostens into the Synthbox and pressing “WASH” which essentially kills them. The only concern Mark/Jove has regarding this is the bodyguard of the Dostens. Mayflower whisks Mark/Jove away to her warehouse by calling an ambulance and then getting the ambulance to leave them at her warehouse. I know that this might raise questions but I’m telling you to refer to previous paragraph in which I explained that there is no explanation for many of these things.

Mayflower has to give a blowjob and have sex with someone she has watch over her friend “Dime” who is called “Dime” because “Well, they used to joke about how Dime’s thoughts were worth at least nine cents more, hence his name.” Dime is a mentally challenged young man whose dialogue consists of “”Maaaaaaaaaafloooooooooooer,” Dime screamed in one of his random outbursts”. Don’t feel bad for him though because Dime gets to have sex and Mayflower even peeks at his sexual activities with maternal pride. Mark/Jove can tell that Mayflower is just faking her orgasm with this other person because she isn’t using her nails to scratch her john like she did when Mark/Jove and she were having sex.

Mayflower and Mark/Jove eventually go to a revolutionary camp. The revolutionaries are gearing up for a battle to bring peace between the two warring factions of Blues and Blacks. “He recognized Rocky, Melanchor, and Selena, leaders of the hard-fought revolution that no one seemed to know existed.” INORITE? A revolution that is so ineffective no one knows it exists? It gets better. When Rocky, Melanchor, Selena go off to battle, they return after three hours because a peace accord had already been worked out between the Blues and the Blacks. The revolution was for naught. !!!!! !!!!!

The book ends with Mayflower revealing that her left nipple was excised “per policy” when she was attacked and left for dead. The nipple stores all the information from her attack. Mayflower put her nipple in a necklace which she then gave to Dime. Yes, she gave her nipple in a “smooth silver box with rounded edges” to Dime to wear around his neck. Fortunately, they were able to reattach her nipple and all her memories were restored. This leads Mayflower to realize that her death was setup by her sister and exhusband. She returns to the Blue side to confront her sister, have sex with her ex-husband so that she could capture his DNA, and obtain revenge. Yes, hair or saliva samples aren’t sufficient, only sperm in one’s box can achieve perfect identification.

There is so much I left out in this review like the fact that Mark/Jove is a “Return”, a vampire cured of his vampirism but I leave you with my favorite line of the book:

She could tell the real man in front of her wanted her, because he told her so. “I want you,” he whispered (Screencap)

Best regards,

Jane

You can purchase this book at Ravenous Romance.

Jane Litte is the founder of Dear Author, a lawyer, and a lover of pencil skirts. She spends her downtime reading romances and writing about them. Her TBR pile is much larger than the one shown in the picture and not as pretty. You can reach Jane by email at jane @ dearauthor dot com

71 Comments

  1. Jennie
    May 25, 2009 @ 12:54:05

    Um, if anyone wants me, I’m over in the corner here, curled in a fetal position, whimpering.

    There is only so much WTFery a girl can take before her head explodes.

    ReplyReply

  2. JoB
    May 25, 2009 @ 13:01:21

    She could tell this was a Romance because Ravenous Romance told her so.

    “This is a Romance,” they whispered

    ReplyReply

  3. Dana
    May 25, 2009 @ 13:18:31

    Detachable nipples? Wut? And ow.

    She could tell the real man in front of her wanted her, because he told her so. “I want you,” he whispered

    HEE! That’s so bad, it’s awesome.

    But I have to say, I really like their covers.

    ReplyReply

  4. katiebabs
    May 25, 2009 @ 13:26:49

    Mayflower of the one nipple was a great laugh.

    ReplyReply

  5. Jayne
    May 25, 2009 @ 13:31:02

    Jane, please don’t risk warping your brain by reading too many of these stories. I’m starting to get worried about you.

    ReplyReply

  6. Jane
    May 25, 2009 @ 13:32:41

    @Jayne someone did comment that my reviews have been abnormally positive and I feel like some of that might be due to the fact that anything seems well written compared to this stuff.

    I do feel like I was rewarded for slogging through the book when the USB nipple device was introduced. That was fully awesome.

    ReplyReply

  7. GrowlyCub
    May 25, 2009 @ 13:33:03

    I agree with Jayne. This must lead to brain leakage eventually!

    ReplyReply

  8. joanne
    May 25, 2009 @ 13:36:51

    Personally it seems the romantic adventures of Mayflower & Jovinius are really quite interesting— in a give me a lobotomy now kind of way.

    I do feel a little mild anger with the fact that our female lead may not have actually ‘agreed’ to perform sexually for the clients since someone offering to “rip your head off and shove it up your ass” is not ‘actually’ asking a question.

    Whatever, it sounds delightful.

    Move over Jennie.

    ReplyReply

  9. Cathy
    May 25, 2009 @ 13:42:55

    Oh my. Jane, you know that we all admire you for wading through these RR books, because we’re telling you: we admire you for reading these RR books.

    I recall that Terry Goodkind, in one of his many Sword of Truth novels, had a sect of religious fanatic bad guys that would cut the nipples off of women who defied them, or were their spies or something. No USB-nipp-i-tude, as I recall though.

    ReplyReply

  10. Doug Knipe [SciFiGuy]
    May 25, 2009 @ 13:43:01

    There is an opportunity here to do a feature for these WTF romances not unlike what Mystery Science Theatre does for like-minded bad movies.

    ReplyReply

  11. Cathy in AK
    May 25, 2009 @ 13:44:47

    This must lead to brain leakage eventually!

    Goodness, Growly Cub, isn’t there more than enough stuff dripping and gushing in this review? :) Please pass a towel.

    ReplyReply

  12. Jayne
    May 25, 2009 @ 13:45:46

    But joanne, pussies don’t lie. Jove/Mark’s huge enormous cock acts as a kind of lie detector that tells us so. The bitch wants it bad!

    ReplyReply

  13. GrowlyCub
    May 25, 2009 @ 13:48:34

    Sorry, sorry, passing out towels to everybody…. :)

    ReplyReply

  14. Dana
    May 25, 2009 @ 13:54:53

    With all the gushing, erupting, and dripping fluids, perhaps they could have used a CockBib.

    ReplyReply

  15. Jayne
    May 25, 2009 @ 13:58:12

    OMG Dana. Am laughing my ass off at the Cockbib. Who knew damp balls were such a problem?

    ReplyReply

  16. GrowlyCub
    May 25, 2009 @ 14:26:15

    What I want to know is if the inventor will ever get another blow job, cause either he told the world that his wife made him ‘a victim of another sloppy blow job’ or somebody else gave him that blow job, which his wife might not appreciate…

    Thanks for the laugh, Dana… kinda … cause did I really need to know and see this? lol

    ReplyReply

  17. Anon76
    May 25, 2009 @ 14:34:43

    I have no words. Which is really bad as I am a chatty type sometimes.

    ReplyReply

  18. Keri M
    May 25, 2009 @ 14:48:38

    Wha-wha-What the Hell was that?? OMgosh, people pay good money to read rot like this? I am stunned! I just can’t believe RR keeps putting this junk out. Jane, hugs to you and what you read in order to bring us quality reviews. :-)

    ReplyReply

  19. Elizabeth
    May 25, 2009 @ 15:06:25

    “She could tell the real man in front of her wanted her, because he told her so. “I want you,” he whispered.”

    Someone needs to report to the Ministry of Redundancy Ministry.

    Funny review, thanks. Always good to see what not to do. Ever.

    ReplyReply

  20. DonLinn
    May 25, 2009 @ 15:56:47

    Perhaps the best RRTheatre ever. I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me.

    ReplyReply

  21. Nonny Mouse
    May 25, 2009 @ 15:58:02

    The couple on the cover looks familiar.

    ReplyReply

  22. Kimberly Nee
    May 25, 2009 @ 16:07:45

    Oh. My. God. Words fail me. I’m just glad I didn’t choke on my drink. Or ruin the keyboard…

    ReplyReply

  23. Lisa J
    May 25, 2009 @ 16:41:45

    Are you sure these books aren’t written by someone’s 13 year old with a mind warped by being potty trained too early in life? I mean things certainly seem to be gushing, creaming, and dripping. Maybe someone should invent a bib for her lady softness.

    Jane, you should stop torturing yourself with these books.

    ReplyReply

  24. Bree
    May 25, 2009 @ 16:45:40

    Mayflower even peaks at his sexual activities with maternal pride.

    …I’m scared that I have to ask this, but is it really peaks? In this one instance, peeks might be less disturbing.

    Oh my God I hope it’s peeks. I don’t want to imagine anyone peaking with maternal pride.

    ReplyReply

  25. Pearl
    May 25, 2009 @ 17:22:54

    He he he! Nothing quite as fun as the REALLY bad reviews.

    Am I the only one that thinks this publishing company has extremely inappropriate covers? Too cute and sweet for the actual content.

    ReplyReply

  26. Dayna/Rowan
    May 25, 2009 @ 17:27:24

    You…don’t remember?

    *whew*

    “Do or Die” has taken on new meaning for me.

    ReplyReply

  27. Jane
    May 25, 2009 @ 17:36:58

    @Bree: It is peeks! I’ll go change it. LOL

    ReplyReply

  28. Jane
    May 25, 2009 @ 17:43:19

    @Dayna/Rowan This was your fault? I think, though, the last line of awesome + the nipple storage made it all worthwhile.

    ReplyReply

  29. Jessica G.
    May 25, 2009 @ 18:08:47

    Can someone explain how an erection drips down someone’s thigh? I thought the point of those was that they go up.

    ReplyReply

  30. ME
    May 25, 2009 @ 18:14:58

    Oh this is good. I have to alert my crit partners. We actually look forward to reading these reviews cause they’re so freaking funny! I can’t believe that RR continues to publish such god awful crap. Seriously awful. Or do they do it on purpose? Like maybe they want to be known as the worst epub in the business? dunno, but it’s certainly entertaining. Ok, off to let the others know they can come here and have a good giggle

    ReplyReply

  31. Silver James
    May 25, 2009 @ 18:19:58

    OMGWTFBBQ!!?! … Ow. Just…ow.

    Why do I think there is a Brawny Towel joke here somewhere? Need a bigger, picker-upper?

    All I can say is thank god no trees had to die for this book and Jane, you are a better woman than I, Gunga Din.

    ReplyReply

  32. Robin
    May 25, 2009 @ 18:31:29

    Perhaps the best RRTheatre ever. I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me.

    And that’s all you can ever expect of great art, isn’t it?

    Seriously, I’m at the point where I think many of these RR authors are totally down with the over the top WTF-ery, because there’s just SO much of it, and it’s SO over the top. How can it not be intentional? Although the ethnic/racial stereotypes really disturb me, and I’m not sure how intentional they are.

    But I have to say, I really like their covers.

    They do a good job on the surface stuff — the website, promo, covers. Given the small ($10?) advances, the editorial issues, the double duty of authors/editors, etc., though, I wonder if all the $$ is being spent on the shiny surface as a way to draw people in, rather than on the substantial stuff that IMO makes readers loyal and helps a publisher last.

    ReplyReply

  33. Robin
    May 25, 2009 @ 18:39:26

    Or do they do it on purpose?

    I know it’s going to sound like I’m being sarcastic, but I’m not. Just think about what it would take at some point to have one’s book be distinguished/noticed/purchased in a field of books where a woman cuts off her own nipple and gives it to a man to wear as a keepsake around his neck. The bar to top (bottom?) that gets quite high (low?) quite quickly.

    ReplyReply

  34. Alisha Rai
    May 25, 2009 @ 18:40:06

    Ew. I swear, when I read these reviews I feel like my vagina needs to vomit.

    ReplyReply

  35. KCfla
    May 25, 2009 @ 18:52:59

    I’m with Ms. James
    OMGWTFBBQ?

    ReplyReply

  36. Dayna/Rowan
    May 25, 2009 @ 19:08:13

    @Jane: Yes. And I’d be sorry, but…

    pussy wept

    may just wind up being my new inappropriate phrase of surprise.

    ReplyReply

  37. Jude
    May 25, 2009 @ 19:36:26

    Dang, if the book was as painful to read as that review, I think I’ll pass. LOL…Makes me wonder about RR’s editing and/or MS accepting guidelines. Jeesh!

    ReplyReply

  38. theo
    May 25, 2009 @ 20:11:23

    I’ve been staring at the “Say What’s On Your mind” above this box for fifteen minutes. I can’t possibly do that, I am speechless.

    Then, Jane, I read your dessert tweet:

    She knew it was a good dessert bc he said so. “It’s a good dessert,” he whispered. #damgoodtweet http://bit.ly/SWCxm (I couldn’t resist)

    And my wine went all over my laptop. I think RR owes me a new monitor…

    ReplyReply

  39. ldb
    May 25, 2009 @ 20:28:45

    I suspect that a bunch of teenage boys are really running things over there, and if I stop believing that I’ll be just a little sad for our sex.

    ReplyReply

  40. Lisa Hendrix
    May 25, 2009 @ 20:49:44

    omg. You had me snorting at

    There was a renewable energy source namd pilox

    Pillock is a variant of pillicock, an archaic term for (wait for it) penis.

    Renewable energy source, indeed.

    The rest was just gravy.

    So to speak.

    ReplyReply

  41. KristieJ
    May 25, 2009 @ 21:10:11

    I’m with Jessci G – His erection dripped down her thigh? – Good Grief – what the heck does that mean? How can an erection drip? The stuff coming out can drip – and I can’t believe I’m saying this – but the erection itself???? Bob maybe. Jump perhaps. Deflate – yup. But drip?

    ReplyReply

  42. Rebyj
    May 25, 2009 @ 22:27:35

    This book did make A funny #rrtheatre evening. And I enjoyed it as much as anyone , so tell me why I cringed in distaste to see this review here on Dear Author front page? (on mobile list ,not sure if it is on front page at the website) just ack! LOL

    ReplyReply

  43. Bree
    May 25, 2009 @ 22:43:55

    @Bree: It is peeks! I'll go change it. LOL

    I think the fact that I couldn’t actually just assume it was a typo says a lot about my expectation level for these books. Peaking in maternal pride could happen.

    And now I will go cry.

    ReplyReply

  44. Chenebe
    May 26, 2009 @ 00:24:47

    Whahaha, thanks, this review was most entertaining!

    ReplyReply

  45. raine
    May 26, 2009 @ 01:30:02

    OMG, that was beyond horrible.

    Too many WTF moments.

    Good job for at least trying to make sense out of the senseless Jane.

    ReplyReply

  46. Emmy
    May 26, 2009 @ 01:55:33

    Is nipple in a box like “dick in a box”? If so, it must be the best present ever.

    ReplyReply

  47. Angelia Sparrow
    May 26, 2009 @ 06:26:29

    Now, I’ve seen a woman behave just like our Mrs. Dosten, a sober woman even. So I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt on that and on the twitchy puss. (If cocks can, why not?)

    As for the rest: she gets raped, commits murder, and runs off to join the revolution with her rapist-turned-lover? And it goes downhill from there in a flood of cream, apparently.

    And people wonder why I won’t write for Ravenous.

    ReplyReply

  48. Denise
    May 26, 2009 @ 06:56:53

    His erection was dripping down her thigh? That unfortunate description conjured up similar images from Peter Straub’s Floating Dragon - a horror novel.

    If his erection is dripping down her thigh, he needs to be in the emergency room stat.

    How is this anything resembling a romance? Because a man yanking you out of a box and ordering you to fuck him or he’ll rip your head off and shove it up your ass isn’t exactly my idea of Cyrano de Bergerac.

    ReplyReply

  49. Chicklet
    May 26, 2009 @ 08:01:57

    How is this anything resembling a romance? Because a man yanking you out of a box and ordering you to fuck him or he'll rip your head off and shove it up your ass isn't exactly my idea of Cyrano de Bergerac.

    Oh, don’t say that near any Ravenous editors — they’ll probably publish a Cyrano-inspired “romance” where the hero fucks the heroine with his nose.

    ReplyReply

  50. shuzluva
    May 26, 2009 @ 08:09:49

    I think my brain just had a complete blue screen moment. Everything in there was obliterated by the absolute insanity of this. Considering I’m either getting fired or quitting this week, it was a great way to take my mind off work, and take my mind altogether!

    ReplyReply

  51. Lori
    May 26, 2009 @ 09:12:00

    Wow. Just. Wow.

    With all that creaming and weeping and dripping, it sounds like somebody needs to take a trip to the clinic.

    ReplyReply

  52. RStewie
    May 26, 2009 @ 09:57:34

    Reviews of these books make me think they must be written by computer code or something. They’re just SO random, it’s like someone entered in some components of the story “sex bot” “revolution” “vampire” “USB port” “nipple” and some computer program took it, mixed it into a “story” and then they box it up and sell it!!

    ALL the reviews of the RR books remind me of this. And I LOL.

    ReplyReply

  53. allison
    May 26, 2009 @ 09:58:07

    Yanno, I love my thumbdrive but I would never actually use a thumb to store data let alone one of my nips.

    I really think these two need to get checked for some STDs. There’s way too much dripping and creaming going on.

    They’re amazing performers, though, to be able to keep going while some watcher shrieks “I’m horny, I’m horny”.

    In all seriousness, how is that supposed to be a turn-on or in anyway advance the plot? Oh, wait. I just said a bad word, didn’t I? Plot does not seem to exist at Ravenous Romance.

    At least we didn’t have peepee shaking going on?

    ReplyReply

  54. Shannon C.
    May 26, 2009 @ 10:21:44

    I don’t know what it says about me that the one thing I noticed enouth to comment on was the fact that the factions are the blues and blacks. Uncomfortable racial undertones much? Or am I just oversensitive?

    ReplyReply

  55. Helen
    May 26, 2009 @ 11:40:41

    I can believe you can read past the first page in some of those books!

    But I love the F reviews!!!

    ReplyReply

  56. Emmy Ellis
    May 26, 2009 @ 11:55:12

    The following comment was the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time:

    She could tell this was a Romance because Ravenous Romance told her so.

    “This is a Romance,” they whispered

    Thanks, JoB!

    :o)

    ReplyReply

  57. K. Z. Snow
    May 26, 2009 @ 15:47:29

    An info-nipple? Damn. And here I thought I was pulling off ticks. I’ve probably flushed half the Encyclopedia Britannica down the damned crapper!

    Now I’m gonna go smoke some crack and write me a romance.

    ReplyReply

  58. K. Z. Snow
    May 26, 2009 @ 15:49:53

    Cue Billy Mays looking like a bearded breast while he pimps OxyClean.

    ReplyReply

  59. MaryK
    May 26, 2009 @ 16:00:38

    Why?

    ReplyReply

  60. Gina
    May 26, 2009 @ 19:30:54

    That book sounds OH JOHN RINGO NO bad. I’m kinda impressed.

    ReplyReply

  61. Sam
    May 27, 2009 @ 01:21:58

    She could tell this was a Romance because Ravenous Romance told her so.

    “This is a Romance,” they whispered

    This Review + this comment =WIN

    ReplyReply

  62. KMont
    May 27, 2009 @ 06:10:08

    Oh, brain weeps, twitches, what have you. I feel like buying stock in paper towels after reading these reviews. For the vomit. I think I even involuntarily grabbed my breast when a nipple twitched in pained sympathy.

    Wait – actually that was its way of reminding me I left my lunch at home. Sonofab**chsh*t (that was the longest nonstop cussing I’ve ever seen in a book). Must remember to consult the ‘ole nipples next time I forget something. Is it the right time to tune in Tokyo? ‘Cause this ship already went down, might not help, dunno.

    In all seriousness, the kind of imagination it takes to put this kind of stuff to paper/keyboard is just…and then for it to get published is, well…

    ReplyReply

  63. Babs
    May 27, 2009 @ 11:52:16

    My brain hurts after reading this. It is just, well, wow…I don’t have the words.

    I am so con-fu-sed.

    ReplyReply

  64. Randi
    May 27, 2009 @ 12:54:42

    Gina: that’s freaking hilarious (the OH JOHN RINGO NO-not the actual John Ringo series). I am so adding that to my vocabulary!

    ReplyReply

  65. Gina
    May 27, 2009 @ 13:18:22

    @Randi: It’s hard to resist the phrase once you’ve been introduced. OH JOHN RINGO NO can be used in many situations, much like OH NO YOU DIDN’T and OH SNAP. lol

    ReplyReply

  66. Kylie Creel
    May 27, 2009 @ 22:27:11

    *snort* USB Nipples! I’ll have to remember that!! Awesome. LOL

    ReplyReply

  67. bam
    Jun 03, 2009 @ 20:57:55

    The song “detachable penis” by King Missile is playing in my head right now.

    I woke up this morning
    with my penis missing again.
    This happens all the time.
    It’s detachable.

    ReplyReply

  68. Corlei
    Jun 09, 2009 @ 20:54:07

    I think I gave up trying to follow any sort of plot about halfway through. @A@

    How the crapsack are haploid cells supposed to provide perfect DNA samples when they have only 23 chromosomes? GENETICS/FORENSICS/BIOLOGY FAIL.

    ReplyReply

  69. V. Greene
    Jul 23, 2009 @ 15:06:58

    @Chicklet:

    Oh, don't say that near any Ravenous editors–” they'll probably publish a Cyrano-inspired-romance– where the hero fucks the heroine with his nose.

    Which would come out rather worse than half the smutty Snapefics which can be found on several different fanfiction websites. Really, how are they persuading people to pay for these things?

    ReplyReply

  70. Jamie
    Aug 21, 2009 @ 15:24:04

    Wow. How could ANYONE think all the dripping and flowing and…general excretion was in any way sexy? And the rape thing is just nasty. Eeww. I think my nipples twinged in sympathy to the nipple-removal thing. The whole concept just seems so gross. This is neither romance nor erotica, and I’d even hesitate to call it porn. Jane, you are a braver woman than I- I’d have thrown this away within the first couple pages.

    ReplyReply

  71. LaTessa
    Sep 11, 2009 @ 10:20:02

    LOL– oh my goodness….. and this was published??

    hmm, wow.

    ReplyReply

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