Jan 23 2012
REVIEW: Player’s Ultimatum by Koko Brown
Dear Ms. Brown:
As a self professed lover of sports romances, I get quite a few recommendations for books featuring athletes. Sarah Wendell found this book and suggested we both read it despite the blurb that was poorly drafted and contained cliches. Unfortunately for both of us the blurb was our first clue as to the quality of writing in this story. There are several sentences in the book that actually portray the opposite of what was meant to be conveyed. There are formatting errors. The spelling of the hero’s name changed from page to page, sometimes even in the same paragraph. There were about five appearances of a square []. I’m not sure if that was supposed to be some form of punctuation or what. While other books feature rampant comma abuse, this one appeared to be comma allergic (i.e. “You are not taking a bath you are awakening the senses.”) But even beyond the editing, formatting, and typos was the really awful story.
Yvonne Floyd leaves her graduate studies and sublets her apartment for one year to serve as the beard for her best friend, Robbie Gutierrez. He recently was acquired by the famous Roma Internazionale and will be up for a multi million dollar contract the following year. Unfortunately, questions about his sexual orientation are dogging him and in Rome, at the steps of the Vatican, homosexuality isn’t well accepted (and heck, in sports, it is not either). With Robbie footing the bill, Yvonne agrees to pose as his fiance until the next contract is signed.
Unfortunately, Robbie has an enemy. Il Duke, Paulo/Paolo (depending on the paragraph), the captain of Roma Internazionale, lost his best friend to suicide when the best friend lost his position to Robbie. Paulo has hired a paparazzi photographer to follow Robbie around and get incriminating pictures. Unfortunately, none could be had but once Yvonne comes, Paulo turns his attention to seducing her away from Robbie. But Paulo wants the reader to know that he’s selfish, not an asshole. “He hated scenes especially with women. Paolo might be selfish, but he wasn’t an asshole.” He says this after this:
Not fully buying it, she crossed her arms and thrust out her chin stubbornly. “Have you been out with anyone else?”
Paolo tamped down his rising anger. For some reason, one’s celebrity equaled a disturbing familiarity on other people’s part. “Even though it’s none of your business, I haven’t been out with anyone since you.”
…
“I’ll think about it. The team’s twice a day practices don’t make me good company of late.” Paulo chucked her under the chin. “But when things slow down, you will be the first person I’ll call.”
“Promise?”
Paolo almost rolled his eyes. “You’re at the top of my list,” he reassured without locking himself into a promise he knew he wouldn’t keep.
Paolo/Paulo, you just made her a promise.
Yvonne does a fairly shoddy job of acting as Robbie’s fiancé given that she is constantly panting after Paulo and when she isn’t panting after Paulo (name intentionally screwed up to mimic the book), she is having sex with a stranger in a mask during Venice’s Carnivale (who conveniently turns out to be Paolo/Paulo).
The book is filled with cliches and bad metaphors.
**His game plan should have been simple as a wall pass. Of course, like any play the execution turned out to be damn near impossible because he hadn’t anticipated the strength of the defense or taken into account his own weaknesses. And above all he was consistently breaking the cardinal rule: never take your eyes off the goal.
**She’d kissed plenty of frogs in her life.
**She’d had one or two lovers who’d rocked her world, yet none of them completely demolished and rebuilt it like he did.
**Paolo fell into a tailspin…
Even beyond the use of cliches is the representation of the characters. Yvonne has a smoking body, beautiful skin, and an attractive face yet she doesn’t realize her own beauty, only wears sweat shirts and jeans to hide her curves, and doesn’t know how to use makeup. Oh the reluctant and hidden beauty trope. Never heard of that one before. Worse, it is totally inconsistent. In the very first chapter, Yvonne states:
Her savior was the face of Allure cosmetics! Only last week the woman’s gamine profile had convinced her to buy the cosmetic lines’ Go-On Sheer-Stay-On Sheer lip gloss in jazzy pink.
and then later:
Another gift from Robbie, she eyed the sleek tubes and pots resembling candy. How did he know what colors to pick? Makeup had always been a foreign concept and she couldn’t remember the last time she bought a tube of lipstick.
Um, I don’t know. How about LAST FREAKING WEEK! Or
She might have been blessed with a curvy Coke-bottle figure and thick shoulder-length hair, but her cinnamon brown skin and average looks wouldn’t call any boys to the yard. So very few tasted her milkshake.
But then about two paragraphs later:
her pearly whites and twin crescents embedded into her brown skin always worked back home.
Which is it? Either no one tastes her milkshake or her dimples and white teeth always work? Paulo isn’t a manwhore but a guy who loves reading about fertilizers. “Careful to stay inside the teams’ VIP area, he avoided making polite conversation, signing autographs or posing for photographs with fans. He loved his fans, but they would only delay his departure. And if he left now he could still catch Luigi, The Renaissance Guy. Tonight’s episode was on repurposing old newspaper into fertilizer.” Yet he acts like a manwhore (see infra prior excerpt where he promises to call said woman).
He never took a woman home, no matter how much he wanted to shag them. Once a woman came over, she started acting like she owned the place, making it even harder to get rid of her. As a rule, all of his affairs were carried out elsewhere either in hotels or the homes of the women he dealt with.
But let’s talk about sentences that make no sense:
- “I’ve never known you to juggle less than one woman,” Nico sputtered.
- Keitha lip-synched the rest of her sentence because the crowd suddenly went wild.
- The champagne might as well have been fruit punch because during the season he couldn’t touch anything stronger.
Let’s take a look at the editing:
- she regained a semblance of normalcy she opened her eyes, gaining her fist good look at her savior.
- Standing a little over six feet her wolf wore nothing more than a mask and a pair of brown silk pajama bottoms, hanging low on his hips.
- Instinctively, Yvonne knew what was coming next[]her.
- A flourishing expanse, the lawn was a lush, intimate oasis that combined secluded sitting areas, meandering walkways, covered with creeping vines, a full garden with fragrant roses, a sparkling swimming pool and even a small orange grove.
- When she turned around Yvonne realized she was in deeper trouble than she first assumed.
Let’s not forget the completely WTF moments during sex:
- Hurricane preparedness could put you in the right frame of mind, but no amount of plans or preparation could ever diminish the impact. And on the Saffir-Simpson scale, her orgasm slammed into her with the force of a category five!
and
- Instead of presenting a counterclaim, he pulled back until his cock was almost completely withdrawn except for the head. Sensing he was seeking damages, Yvonne reached for his hips to soften the blow. Before she could get a handle of him, he yanked both of her wrists above her head.
Sometimes a good story and a great voice can overcome problems in editing, formatting, grammar but when the story is just as bad, there is nothing to hang the reader hat on. There are two good things in this book. The soccer scenes seemed authentic and the way in which the sports world had to deal with Robbie’s sexual orientation was great. That’s about it. F
Best regards,
Jane
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Jan 23, 2012 @ 04:31:42
This is precisely why I no longer waste my time or money on self-published books.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 05:22:15
Crap. I bought this one during an ARe sale. Maybe I’ll just skip it.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 05:59:21
@BRose:
It also provides further illustration of how Amazon reviews are next to useless. The top one made specific references to how well-written the book is. Even if Jane made an effort to find poorly written sentences (and I doubt she did), there were obviously plenty of choices to illustrate her point. Oh, and the author bio is also poorly written.
BTW, is Paulo/Pietro Japanese-Brazilian or Japanese/Brazilian?
Jan 23, 2012 @ 07:05:56
Wow? Seriously? I got this book from ARE and read it twice. LOVED IT! I was actually shocked to see that Dear Author reviewed the book since I never see multi-cultural reviews listed here. I’m sitting at my computer scratching my head confused by this review. The book was an excellently written story and I didn’t see half of the grammar issues you site (don’t give a hot-dog about some Amazon brackets and missing commas when it comes to a good story). Not sure of why you took the time to take a red ‘editors’ pen to a lighthearted fun story but I find most of your critiques a bit over the top and pointless for me lately. To each his own.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 07:28:15
@Meri: Hmmm. I think he was Japanese-Brazilian from his grandmother?
Jan 23, 2012 @ 07:30:16
@Andy: Koko Brown, is that you?
Jan 23, 2012 @ 07:46:01
@Andy: I imagine Jane has a don’t feed the trolls policy, but DA reviews plenty of multicultural romances (you can find them easily, too: for instance, by checking out these links http://dearauthor.com/tag/interracial-romance, http://dearauthor.com/tag/multicultural).
Good editing, syntax and grammar may not be something you care about, but they are important to many readers. I like my books to be well written – even the fun, lighthearted ones.
I get the sense that this comments thread may become an interesting example of authors and/or their friends behaving badly.
A Bad Review or Retaliation | | Official Website of Author Koko Brown
Jan 23, 2012 @ 08:29:42
[...] Admittedly, I was excited by the review because Dear Author never rarely reviews Interracial/Multicultural romances. Even though there are hundreds if not thousands of multicultural books for them to choose from, I’ve only seen a handful posted on their site over the years. So, I was fairly surprised they chose my self-published book to review. [...]
Jan 23, 2012 @ 08:40:35
@A Bad Review or Retaliation | | Official Website of Author Koko Brown
I read the linkback and I have to say that I didn’t remember that Koko Brown was involved in any lawsuit until she mentioned it. I sent two emails to her in April of 2011. The first to ask if she had a comment and the second to see if she wanted to send me a copy of the petition. That’s about it.
Updated: Seeking reviews while black | Monica Jackson
Jan 23, 2012 @ 08:46:17
[...] An example, Dear Author reviewed an IR romance (which I haven’t read) that has solid reviews on Amazon and other venues. They gave it a F [...]
Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:03:32
Sigh.
I’m sure there are many good, even excellent, self-published books out there. It must be frustrating in the extreme for the authors that books like this one keep readers like me from even trying self-published books.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:43:10
I have to agree with Andy. We must’ve received a different book than you, Dear Author.
Frankly, I am ashamed to be associated with reviewers such as yourself.
For years, I was under the assumption that reviews are for readers. However, your “review” for Player’s Ultimatum seems to be more of an attack to the author (refer to your blog title). Why you would post something so clearly venomous is beyond my comprehension.
I have read MANY books that aren’t exactly stellar. However, due to the deeply ingrained ethic of professionalism I have, I wouldn’t blast someone like this. Every word of your review reeks of personalization. Rule number 1 of any Reviewer’s code is to NOT attack punctuation and grammar. Do you know how many “Best Seller” books I have read that contain grammatical errors? Sure, my OCD mind jumps all over it, but I refrain from the personal attacks. Maybe you missed the “Personal & Professional Ethics” memo. Hopefully, human resources will make many grammatical errors the next time they send it out. (Just to be sure it grabs your attention and sticks with you, of course).
You must be one of the following : a.) unpublished. b.) bitter. c.) in a delusional state in which you believe you are the next Siskel & Ebert of the Book Reviewers or d.) completely ignorant of the fact that ANY publicity is GOOD publicity.
Here’s a perfectly “cliche” comment for you: “Pot. Kettle. Black.” I’m sure with your vast intelligence, you will be able to fill in the blanks. (Refer to your truly incohesive review, if you are confused.)
Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:49:06
Lil, I second your sigh. I think this thread will become painful very soon.
And I don’t understand…if your book has atrocious editing and inconsistencies, why attack the reviewer as if this is all a case of sour grapes? Why not put out a quality edited book in the first place so you’re not dragging down all those who are making an effort to put their best foot forward in self publishing?
Rather than attack reviewers, why isn’t Koko Brown off adding commas to her spliced sentences and fixing up serious errors like a main character’s name changing throughout the course of the book? Sigh Sigh. Sigh. Respect readers and respect yourself by putting out a quality book that doesn’t look like a first draft.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:53:51
@Sandy: How is noting confusing sentences/story details and bad editing attacking the author? Unless you’re equating the author with the book…?
Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:56:44
@courtship: Or even asking where Jane bought the book, to see if a horrible mistake was made and a file with an earlier draft sent to that store rather than the finished book. That was my initial more generous thought about what might have happened. The immediate “this review is retaliation” response had me feeling less generous.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:04:20
@Sandy:
“Rule number 1 of any Reviewer’s code is to NOT attack punctuation and grammar.”
Seriously? And what code is that? I don’t know about you, but I prefer to read books written by authors who don’t butcher the English language. I’m thankful that Jane posted this review and saved me from wasting my time and money.
I’ve read Jane’s review twice and see no personal attacks. Your response, however, is a totally different story. For someone so vocal about the virtues of professionalism, you don’t seem to practice what you preach.
Methinks it’s going to be a busy day for the trolls…
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:05:23
::sigh:: Looks like someone called out the attack poodles.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:05:27
This does read like a retaliation. And of course Jane supporters who probably have not read the book would try to discredit the author. My husband is an attorney and I asked him if this blogger would be libel for her actions, being that she purposefully solicited information from the author for a lawsuit then slammed her work on a public forum, Koko you would be really interested in his response. So click on my name and send me an email and I will put you in contact with him. (especially if you have the emails from jane).
I haven’t read your book (I don’t read much IR books) but I think I’ll pick it up now so I can be one of the informed reviewers, not a Jane follower.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:15:11
Although I haven’t read this book (I rarely read m/f romance anymore), I do have to speak up in defense of self-published work. Not all of it is junk — not by a long shot. For example, two highly regarded m/m novels, The Cranberry Hush by Ben Monopoli and Knight Errant by KD Sarge, were self-pubbed. More and more authors are going this route, and for obvious reasons: self-publishing allows for creative autonomy and a significantly greater financial return than 35% (or less) of a book’s selling price.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:15:37
*grabs popcorn, sits on the couch*
Now this is gonna be good. It’s been a while since I’ve seen the trolls ’round here.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:19:23
@Christine M.:
Trolls? Why are people being called trolls when they don’t agree with a review? So you must be a ‘sheep’ to comment on Dear Author? It looks to me that Koko never came to Jane’s blog but put her comment on her own blog. So where is the big offense?
Jane brought the drama to you ladies this morning.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:21:31
@Andy: Lots of people care about commas (including me), and the grammatical and spelling issues that Jane CITED in her review are 100% relevant to whether I will buy this book. Because those things are important to me – along with a good story, which this book also appears to lack – I will not purchase this book. Thus, this review is useful to me, and people like me, who care about editing, plot, and flow.
@NaughtyGirl: OH NOES, your husband is an ATTORNEY. By dint of their education and the job title alone, attorneys instinctively know everything about libel and slander. Hint: I am a lawyer, too, and I have defended libel/slander cases. This is not libel because truth is an absolute defense to libel.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:30:16
So as book reviewers we should give passes to bad grammar, misspellings and the changing of the main characters’ names just to be nice? How does a reviewer have an ulterior motive pointing out these issues that shows poorly written and unedited work?
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:30:29
@Praxidike: @Praxidike: Riiiiiigghhhhttt you’re an attorney. Did you read the book? How do you know that Ms. Jane didn’t maliciously exaggerate what she found in the book? I”m sure Koko can prove the emails between her and Jane. So sounds like the case might have some merit. I downloaded the book. Gonna take a microscope to comb through it today to see if the comma’s and bad grammar are there. Jane can you site page numbers? It would save me some time.
Sidenote – I do love drama, so this is the best entertainment I’ll have going today.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:32:51
@Dani: I call them trolls because they fit the definition : someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, [...] with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.
Posting a message intended for the author of the book reviewed on the review blog (rather than on the author’s blog post where she mentions the review and her ‘encounter’ with Jane last May) about libel (see comment 18) is something that fits the definition of trolling. My two cents.
I don’t always agree with Jane or the other posters of this blog and that’s fine. I haven’t read the book myself. But if the grammar and the editing is as bad as Jane says, then I do consider that comments such as Sandy (comment 12) when she says that grammar, punctuation and the likes should count toward the grade of a book as flame-inducing (aka, trolling).
Hope this helps. :)
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:32:59
Seriously?! I second? third? fourth? Le sigh.
Look, you want to defend your friend/author, great, but not this way. Will people NEVER learn?
“Wow, Jane. I’m totally surprised because I loved this story. It was fun with characters I really cared about. Oh well, to each his own. I hope others give it a try, though because they can totally sample the book to see if it’s to their liking or not.”
“Oh gee, I totally agree. I liked this book, too.”
“Hey, me three!”
Not that hard folks.
@Christine M: Is this seat taken? I have chocolate. Will be happy to order pizza or margaritas since this looks like its going to be a long one.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:34:28
2 things…
(1) @Caro: “attack poodles” LOL. Love it. And am stealing it.
(2) @NaughtyGirl: Your husband is not an attorney. And if he is, he is a very, very poor one. First of all, its “liable” not “libel”. Liable means subject to legal sanction, or legally responsible. “Libel” is a cause of action for defamation via written word. You can be liable for libel, but you can’t just be libel. A review of a book, however wretched the review may be (and Jane’s wasn’t) is 100% an opinion and therefore, protected by the First Amendment. Something that I am sure Jane is aware of being both a reviewer and an attorney.
Furthermore, I am curious. What cause of action, exactly, does your husband think that the author has? Hmmmm? No, really, I’m curious…mostly because no cause of action exists in this case. None. Even if we take your insinuations as fact that Jane “solicited information from the author for a lawsuit then slammed her work on a public forum” there is NOTHING actionable about such conduct. NOTHING. I realize we live in a sue-happy country, but still, you need a cause of action to sue. None exists here.
And thirdly, because I am on a roll and bloody HATE when bad lawyers sully the good name of my profession, even if your husband IS a lawyer and he has come up with a yet-unheard-of cause of action, he must also be licensed in the state that the author lives or works, or in the state the tort took place in order to render ANY legal advice. Doing otherwise is unlicensed practice of law and actionable conduct according to all state bars. Maybe you should think about stuff like this before making ill-informed legal threats on a public forum and possibly opening your husband up to malpractice.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:34:52
@Christine M.: I should mention that I picked my definition on Wikipedia, now that it’s up and alive. :)
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:35:29
That was even faster than I’d expected!
Koko’s friends/devoted readers: I assume for many of you, this is your first visit to DA. Take a look at some of the older reviews, and you’ll get a good feel for the style used here. This review was not an attack. You’ll also see that there are many people who disagree with reviews and opinions expressed here. And yet, nobody calls them trolls! In fact, people get into interesting discussions because there are often disagreements and dissenting views. Maybe because most posters here actually make good arguments rather than coming up with hilarious accusations about the professionalism, ethics and legality of the reviews here.
I’m going to grab some popcorn myself now.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:40:40
I fail to see how pointing out plot holes, sloppy editing, bad grammar, and poor writing amount to racism (and yes, all of the above IS part of what a reviewer can, and should, do). And as Praxidike said, truth is an absolute defense to libel (and in case that’s not clear enough, citing specific examples from the text to support your points equals truth).
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:42:13
@CK: *pats empty seat* Make yourself at home. I have two 4-packs of Guinness, to go with the pizza. Feel free to grab one. :D
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:42:14
I guess NaughtyGirl is unaware that Jane herself is an attorney?
For the record, I appreciate poor language use being pointed out in a review. As with other issues, if it doesn’t bother a particular reader, she will probably buy the book anyway.
@Caro: I snorted at “attack poodles.”
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:45:09
@Naughty Girl I actually can as I bought the book and am happy to make all my numerous highlights public. I think I deleted some as I went through the review but here you go. I didn’t even mention the line where Pau/olo stick his giraffe like tongue up the chick’s vagina and hit her g spot.
Edited to add the giraffe quote “Paolo pitched his tongue inside her and up in an effort to hit her G-spot. Finding the general area, he stroked and stroked.” which is from location 2168.
but her cinnamon brown skin and average looks wouldn’t call anyRead more at location 66
Note: Any boys? Cliche much Edit
pearly whites and twin crescents embedded into her brown skin alwaysRead more at location 84
Note: Thought nothing brought her milkshake to the yard Edit
Keitha lip-synched the rest of her sentence because the crowd suddenly went wild;Read more at location 116
Thanks to years of gymnastic lessons, she wore a pair of stiletto sandals, held up by satin ribbons wrapped around her ankles, with ease. To completeRead more at location 542
it down in ten seconds flat. The champagne might as well have been fruit punch because during the season he couldn’t touch anything stronger. Cursing, he focusedRead more at location 631
Better to assuage his guilt. Done with small talk, Paolo aimed his attention at his goal. “So, who’s your beautiful friend?” While Robbie’s smile didn’tRead more at location 649
like the wind had been knocked from his sails. He tried performing a mental check. It didn’t help.Read more at location 654
He couldn’t toast her happiness with another man, especially when he was his enemy and he wanted her so badly for himself. *****Read more at location 664
Startled, Yvonne gasped. Whoa, Robbie’s body was banging! She barely rose toRead more at location 685
know her nipples had hardened. “Please stop,” she whispered. “Por que…why?” Yvonne searched his impossibly dark eyes and all she could muster up was, “I don’t know”. Taking advantageRead more at location 793
serious! “Cut it off,” she repeated, holding the dagger out in front of her. “It’s not like you need it to play soccer.” She did haveRead more at location 863
raise suspicion.” As he lowered his hand a sudden realization hit Paolo smack dab in the middle of the eyes. “You were funning me weren’tRead more at location 878
She’d beat him at his own game.Read more at location 882
“I’ll pass. I no longer have an appetite?for food.”Read more at location 886
it was knocking him out of his comfort zone.Read more at location 891
Yvonne rarely gave her curves much thought. Her full breast, narrow waist, and rounded buttocks were always hidden under a baggy university sweatshirt or jeans.Read more at location 899
“No need to worry you’ll be sitting in the club box again.”Read more at location 908
relief. He hated scenes especially with women. Paolo might be selfish, but he wasn’t an asshole.Read more at location 1206
Her feet were tiny and topped off with pale nail polish. Not seeing any visible corns or bunions, PauloRead more at location 1216
mentally checked that off his list. An admitted foot man, her feet were definitely lickable. Moving upRead more at location 1216
Seeking safer ground, his gaze rose to the woman’s face.Read more at location 1222
Embarrassed, Paolo adjusted his dick, only making his arousal jut up and out like Rio’s Sugar Loaf Mountain.Read more at location 1226
One moment she was floating on the pool’s surface, the next fighting for her life and all because herRead more at location 1232
solitude had been broken by someone else entering the pool. Shocked by the intrusion, while topless no less, she’d lost her equilibrium and sank to the bottom of the pool.Read more at location 1233
backside. Bad move under the circumstances. Was that an anaconda in his swim trunks or was he just happy to see her?Read more at location 1259
Anymore heat and she’d spontaneously combust.Read more at location 1263
Something inside of him flared, like a Roman candle on New Year’s,Read more at location 1291
effectively turned the tables on him and rocked him to his core.Read more at location 1312
against her luscious ass. Driven by her response, Paolo came to a realization. He wanted to see her get off. In some roundabout way, her pleasure would trigger his as well.Read more at location 1322
loud moans and her tiny hands clawed at his shoulders.Read more at location 1328
“You did this not my agent.”Read more at location 1363
The woman is nothing but a red herring to divert the media’s attention away from the rumors.” Now it was Paulo’s turn to laugh. “Don’t be silly. No one would go to such lengths. I’ve got to go. I don’t like to talk on the phone while I’m driving. Find something else to dig up Malfi, ciao.”Read more at location 1423
Yvonne expected Matteo to have more money than King Midas.Read more at location 1461
“I-I’ve never known you to juggle less than one woman,” Nico sputtered.Read more at location 1527 • Delete this highlight
Note: How can you juggle less than one? LOLOL Edit
“He’s our newest pitch man,” Nico declared as if he’d bagged some prized bull.Read more at location 1536 • Delete this highlight
Note: Why wouldn’t he be the pitch man? He’s the best known player. Edit
spite of the costume’s brevity, she felt beyond sexy! “Well I wouldn’t mind borrowing the whole outfit, if I could fit into it.” Yvonne offered Robbie her hand and helped him from the bed.Read more at location 1551 • Delete this highlight
Note: It makes it sound like Yvonne is saying these sentence, not Robbie. Edit
As she regained a semblance of normalcy she opened her eyes, gaining her fist good look at her savior.Read more at location 1631
Standing a little over six feet her wolf wore nothing more than a mask and a pair of brown silk pajama bottoms, hanging low on his hips.Read more at location 1637
edged closer, inviting more intimacy. He responded in kind by trailing kisses across her cheek toward the sensitive spot just below her ear lobe, triggering a bucket of hormones. With a moan, Yvonne’s head fell to the side, giving him better access. Why hold back? The satin mask preserved her anonymity. Plus, she loved the way he nipped, sucked and drew slow circles against her skin with his tongue.Read more at location 1650 • Delete this highlight
Note: So she’s run off to the corner with some guy and makes out with him (she doesn’t know it is Paulo) Edit
pro! She’d kissed plenty of frogs in her life, but none of them made her wantRead more at location 1662
Instinctively, Yvonne knew what was coming next?her. “I’mRead more at location 1775
preparedness could put you in the right frame of mind, but no amount of plans or preparation could ever diminish the impact. And on the Saffir-Simpson scale, her orgasm slammed into her with the force of a category five!Read more at location 1782
Instead of presenting a counterclaim, he pulled back until his cock was almost completely withdrawn except for the head. Sensing he was seeking damages, Yvonne reached for his hips to soften the blow. Before she could get a handle of him, he yanked both of her wrists above her head.Read more at location 1850
leather and vanilla scented lotion, aroused him more than any one hundred dollar perfume. Sure she’d chosen the outfit to appear unappealing, Paolo smiled. Her plan had backfired. Big time. She was his biggest fantasy come to life. With a certified I.Q. of one hundred and forty-seven, he’d spent just as much time in the referenceRead more at location 2110
She fit him better than his custom-made cleats. With each stroke, an intense needRead more at location 2193
was nothing like an active participant! Most beautiful women tended to lie there like blow up dolls. Not his Yvonne. She milked his cock likeRead more at location 2197
Flesh slapped against flesh. Her sex sucked and slurped him.Read more at location 2210
She barely took two steps and her pussy started to pool.Read more at location 2233
man had a diamond dick that was quickly becoming her best friend. Nothing in the world felt asRead more at location 2262
“If that is your wish?Yvonne, then I aim to please. Now if you would allow me to show—”Read more at location 2329
You can fight him and the way he makes you feel. Her conscience roared.Read more at location 2481 • Delete this highlight
Note: Why are you so afraid of the comma? Edit
Paolo felt like he was bobbing on the end of a cliff. And at any moment he was going to topple over.Read more at location 2591
mind became befuddled, barely able to dissect fact from fiction.Read more at location 2602 • Delete this highlight
Note: Why would he need to separate fact from fiction? Edit
still marveled how they were able to pull it off for so long, but they had because neither the media nor Robbie had caught onto their affair.Read more at location 2618 • Delete this highlight
Note: I marvel about that myself Edit
minute she spent in Paolo’s company she was finding it harder and harder to keep her head on straight and her eyes on the goal. She craved his touch, his kisses and ached for the days to pass quickly so she could be with him again.Read more at location 2620
In layman terms, she was either going insane or falling in love with Paolo Saito.Read more at location 2623 • Delete this highlight
Note: What was the technical explanation that was too difficult for lay people to understand. Edit
A smile curved his lips and like a cliché romance novel her heart performed a cartwheel.Read more at location 2730
He was one to talk! If he were synthetic, she’d recommend he apply to the FDA.Read more at location 2825
the malignant presence of her fiancé, Paolo couldn’t help not wanting her. ItRead more at location 2894
of using her then discarding her, he’d started to enjoy being around her.Read more at location 2898 • Delete this highlight
Note: But he’s not an asshole Edit
her leg muscles trembled worse than a land-bound sailor.Read more at location 2924
felt her stiffen under his hand as he brushed the tips of his seeking fingers against her clit. He tensed as well, half expecting her to block him or slap him for his audacity. He was practically fingering her in front of her fiancé! Of course, Paolo didn’tRead more at location 2952
pill.” “I promise,” he said not losing his rhythm, “I’ll pull out.” “What about the blonde?” “I haven’t been with her in over a year. Even then, I used a condom. Like every woman since I turned sixteen.”Read more at location 3008
What was so bad about carrying his child? Angry and hurt, Paulo lashed out, “Slut? You’re the one to talk. Engaged to another man yet willing to be my fuck buddy.” Paolo instantly regretted his words. They’d been spoken in anger. “Yvonne, I’m so—”Read more at location 3046
The pre-game swag contained dark chocolate and fresh fruits, a pair of designer aviator shades and a brand new cell phone and wireless headphones. Making the finals at the European Cup was definitely worth the perks alone.Read more at location 3157
“Seeing you with your lover, I now realize the rumors that dogged you were the very same ones that made João’s life a living hell. Instead of being his best friend, and accepting him when he came out, I turned my back on him. I helped him put a gun in his mouth.”Read more at location 3201
plain ole’ Yvonne Floyd. Before he cleared midfield, Paolo stopped. He reached out, grabbed Robbie around the neck and crushed his mouth against his. Even though it appeared to be closed mouthed, a collective gasp rippled through the arena.Read more at location 3278
On his left, Robbie looked like a jaguar in headlights.Read more at location 3290
Before Maggione answered the question, a reporter in the back held up his Smartphone. “The Edmonton Druids just tweeted they’ll take Saito and Gutierrez, man love and all! They want the European Cup next year.”Read more at location 3310
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:49:12
This is why I won’t read self-published books. Neither the writers nor the “books” themselves are up to professional standards.
(Although there are rare exceptions, I’m sure.)
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:53:37
I find the inability to distinguish between cite, site and (possibly) sight the most entertaining part of this defense. Perhaps we could do a quick poll. “Words, do they have meaning? Y/N.”
Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:57:18
@Jane:
Oh God!
Jan 23, 2012 @ 11:18:23
The author spelled your name wrong in her blog post. Repeatedly. Least she could have done was get your name right. Shesh!
Jan 23, 2012 @ 11:34:01
“Giraffe like tongue” induces visions of Gene Simons. *shudder* And it should read “giraffe-like”. Yes, I am the hyphen police.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 11:38:42
Her sex sucked and slurped him. Jane! How did that not make it into your review!! Oh my God, I spit my coffee laughing.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 11:41:29
People, we have for your in-context-viewing-pleasure, a giraffe tongue!
http://giraffe2011.wikispaces.com/file/view/giraffe-tongue.jpg
(provided to me by katiebabs)
Gotta say this review and subsequent comments are making my droll Monday less droll.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 11:43:00
“Walking toward her with a slow, yet confident swagger, Robbie gifted her with a dazzling white smile. Despite their charade, her heart did an unconscious pitter patter.
So, this is what being gay did to a man? Amazing how being in touch with one’s feminine side, could make a man seem inordinately more handsome. Yvonne, like everyone else within ear shot, couldn’t take her eyes off him.”
She didn’t…did she? She really really really wrote that? *facepalm* And doesn’t see what’s wrong with it? Really?
To all of Koko’s ‘friends’. Check out the free first chapter on Amazon. Brush off your English books and count how many grammar and punctuation mistakes there are in the sample.
The other problems, as already illuminated by Jane, really are telling as well. Frankly, Koko’s friends, this is a good example of why people really don’t like self-published books. She is in serious need of a good editor. Serious. Need. And your poor showing on a reviewer’s blog is not helping her at all.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 11:52:18
@Jane
Gee, did he lick the snot out of his own nose, too?
Jan 23, 2012 @ 11:52:20
this looks like an awesome train wreck!! my fav. i just downloaded and can’t wait for the LOLS GIRAFFE LIKE TONGUE FOR THE WIN
Jan 23, 2012 @ 11:53:56
@Melinda:
What I want to read about is an aardvark like tongue (can be up to 12 inches). or an anteater. imagine the possibilities
Jan 23, 2012 @ 11:54:06
Oh, for Pete’s sake! More people behaving badly. Here comes the train wreck! I’m sitting down with Kale Chips instead of popcorn. Just had some recently and those bloody things are freaking addictive, I tell you. Oh, Koko supporters, that’s so lovely that you support her. Really. But don’t attack Jane for giving a honest review. She certainly didn’t make up those glaring errors in the book. And like others, I don’t give a hoot about how good a story is when it’s riddled with those types of errors (and this wasn’t even a good story). As a reader, I have a right to read a book that gives a modicum of care over presentation and this book clearly didn’t.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 11:54:35
Ug, I just have to say that if a reviewer DOESN’T point out mistakes in grammer, spelling and plot I learn VERY quickly not to trust that reviewer. Those things have a significant impact in how I enjoy a book.
I read an ARC (hopefully this problem was resolved before the final copy got published) in which one of the characters name was constantly misspelled. How does this happen?!? Is search & replace so hard to use? Do characters names change that often, does the spelling change that often? Little things like that definitely have an impact on MY reading experience.
So thank you Jane. Thank you for pointing out something that may not impact others’ reading experience, but has a GREAT impact on mine.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 11:56:43
Author complaining about a negative review – Check
Minions coming over to troll & defend author and make out Jane & the blog as mean girls central – Check
Accusations of libel and slander – Check
Entertainment of a meltdown and author damaging chances to sell her – Priceless.
At least its not a YA author this time!
Jan 23, 2012 @ 11:57:29
Trolly trolls go trollin’?
Man, did I ever pick the perfect day to have a sick day and read Dear Author all day.
AND someone already invoked the Internet Attorney?!
*eagle-eye for any invocation of Hitler*
crap, I already did it.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:02:11
Move up, people, find me a seat. Popcorn, margaritas and pizza, I am so in. I have cake.
I was going to reply to the comment above about What Reviewers Should Do but nah, why bother? Because I’ll only detract from my personal writing time and nobody sensible thinks that.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:13:42
@nearhere
Or a toad. She did say he pitched his tongue…
Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:23:34
@Lucy Dean: Dear Lucy… I think I love you.
There… that said.
Good grief.
Jane read a book she didn’t like. She reads books she doesn’t like all the time.
FYI, Jane is the blogger here that generally I have …well, a conflict of opinions with. If she loves a book, I’m often…meh… with it. If she hates it (for something other than grammar, BTW), I often love it. Now, Janet, on the other hand, I often love everything she loves, and hate what she didn’t care for. So, please, don’t make the mistake of calling me a “Jane follower”. I can’t follow much of anything worth jack although if you wanna give me a laugh, feel free to call me a follower. It will give me a chuckle or ten.
Jane is allowed to dislike a book.
Authors should well know how to get their books edited. Screw the cliches… they work very well for some people, and chances are there are people reading this thread who wouldn’t mind the cliches. It’s not even the cliches that will kill a book.
It’s the editing and the formatting.
But a writer needs to get a book EDITED… and FORMATTED.
This right here… —> Paulo/Paolo <— pretty much tells me what I need to know…it's enough to make me question the professional editing that was done.
Re: Formatting? Bookbaby can be a good send. Nadia Lee's HOW TO FORMAT YOUR MANUSCRIPT, can be a GOD SEND. Shoot, for that matter, want a clean manuscript? Paste into a notepad, then repaste it into a word document…will remove a whole bunch of the bad crap.
The info on how to clean up a document is out there and it's easy to find. If an author didn't do this, it's because they didn't look for the info.
It's sloppy and it doesn't get a free pass.
And any writer who has been published before definitely doesn't get a free pass on bad grammar.
In this day and age of self-publishing free-for-all? I don't think anybody gets a free pass on taking a short cut around the necessary steps.
Any freelance editor worth her salt would have found that inconsistency of Paulo/Paolo… and I don't need to read the book to find that… it's in the excerpt on ARe.
http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-player039sultimatum-651622-144.html?referrer=da357781
That's what a freelance editor is for-finding that stuff. They are our friends. We loves them and pets them and call them George.
I'm not trying to be rude or snotty, but this crap that reviewers aren't allowed to call out the problems they see in books, they aren't allowed to dislike books… or when they do? It's an ulterior motive?
It's just that…it's crap. Plain and simple.
Reviews are opinions. Plain and simple.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:26:29
I ask that one bad review of a self-published book does not bring out the calls of “See, this is why I won’t read self-pubbed work – it’s all junk!”
My friend Ann Charles wrote the book “Nearly Departed in Deadwood”. This book won the Golden Heart in Romantic Elements in 2011 and the Daphne du Maurier in Mystery/Suspense. It’s a quality book.
Over and over it has been turned down by publishers. The story was always the same – they loved it but they had no clue how to market it.
She chose to self-publish instead of keep trying for traditional publishing.
I realize this isn’t the story for all self-pubbed books, but just as I wouldn’t swear off traditional publishing because of one poor book, I hope others can take every author on their own merit, regardless of who the publisher is.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:28:57
Seriously, who thinks of describing a man’s tongue as “giraffe like” (hyphen omitted on purpose) in a LOVE scene? Is that really supposed to be a turn on? REALLY? Have you ever been to the zoo? Busch Gardens? Looked up Giraffe on the internet? Even if you were able to ignore ALL the other glaring grammatical errors, reading THAT in a sex scene would make me want to cross my legs and shudder in revulsion. Ick.
Sadly, this attention will bolster Ms. Brown’s book sales. Maybe she’ll use the money to hire an editor for her next project.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:29:13
And yet Player’s Ultimatum has a silver star at ARe and has gotten other great reviews. So this one review is not going to do much damage, unlike the accusations going around by the author that Jane has an ulterior motive.
Now apparently Jane fabricated the accusations of grammar issues, or so someone has stated on Koko’s blog. Sigh…
Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:32:20
@Sandy: Rule number 1 of any Reviewer’s code is to NOT attack punctuation and grammar.
Oh, yes. heaven forbid a review actually mention, you know, whether or not the writing is any good.
Actually caring about language and the proper use of words and punctuation, and possessing and caring about the ability to express oneself clearly and not confuse the reader, has NOTHING to do with writing a good book.
FFS.
I’d love to know what review site you review for, Sandy.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:44:26
@Jeannie: Dear Author came up with “giraffe-like” to describe the hero’s ability to reach the heroine’s G-spot with his tongue. As far as I know, the word “giraffe” doesn’t appear in the book itself. At least I hope not.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:45:50
1. I want to know what culture has giraffe-like tongues because I need a boy like that! :)
2. How exactly would you juggle one or ‘less than one’ of anything?
3. As an editor, I find giving a pass to bad grammar unacceptable whether the book is uni-cultural or multi-cultural.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:58:24
@Danielle Monsch: A fair point. The problem is that the many – like this Koko person – have ruined it for the few who are competent writers.
When I purchase a trade published book, I’m guaranteed a read that will meet a certain standard. With a self-published “book,” that’s rarely the case. They’re generally a steaming heap o’ manure – at best.
End result: It’s not worth my time, effort, or money to buy anything self-published.
It’s a shame that good writers wind up being overlooked, but until there’s some system in place – like a big magical funnel that sends the self-published turds to a place where their writers only think their work is being made public, when it’s really not – there’s not much to be done. So many of the reviews and stars can’t be trusted – not when they’re being meted out by the “author’s” buddies and family members.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:59:47
@Grace: Yes, I was using the “giraffe-like” description. The term is not used in the book. Sorry about that.
@KB/KT Grant: How can I fabricate the grammar issues? They are direct quotes from the book…They can be seen in the excerpts at both ARE and Amazon. I’m quite befuddled by this.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 13:02:43
This is why I don’t review more self-published books: not the atrocious grammar and punctuation; rather, I’m tired of the flying monkeys.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 13:06:21
@Anion: I also love Anion. But she knows that.
FYI… this writer kind of prefers to know if her writing sucks. I don’t consider reviews the same as work performance review, but if my writing sucks and I know what sucks, then I can work on fixing it.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 13:13:52
Kudos to you, Jane for managing to finish this book. It’s too bad about all the errors, since soccer is one of the few sports I am interested in reading about in a romance.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 13:21:01
@iRock
I can certainly understand that. You’ll never hear me say that *all* self-publishers are of the same caliber as traditionally published. It’s just many are, but they are not published for reasons other than the quality of their work. It saddens me that they are automatically looked over because they chose to self-publish.
I do have a follow-up though – would you consider reading a self-pubbed book from an author who originally was traditionally published?
Jan 23, 2012 @ 13:22:39
This reviewer/author nonsense seems to never end. This one does bring a new variety of bizzarre though.
*crawls under rock*
Jan 23, 2012 @ 13:28:59
Wait a minute…
I got a DNF review on this very sight and I didn’t throw a fit over it! Why not? Why did I let such a golden opportunity pass through my fingers???
I need to rectify that situation right now!
(clears throat)
Dear Dear Author
Because of your short-sightedness in not loving my story as any sane and rational person would, you have insulted me, your country, the Good Lord Above, and your mama.
I demand that you immediately promise to love all my works with the slavering devotion appropriate in any acolyte and build a shrine to my authorness.
I await your response, but if it should not be forthcoming, be prepared for invocations of any of the following: Hitler, Racist, Lawyers, Lawsuit, Snotty McSnotterson.
Sincerely,
Me
Jan 23, 2012 @ 13:29:08
Where the HELL is Ridley?
I never got passed “So very few tasted her milkshake”.
You’re a soldier Jane.
Karen Knows Best » Koko Brown, Really? Really????
Jan 23, 2012 @ 13:31:37
[...] Seriously, instead of thinking about what a shit job you did writing this book, you decide to slag off the reviewer? [...]
Jan 23, 2012 @ 13:35:27
@Danielle Monsch
Snort! Love your letter to DA. Don’t forget that DA are full of big bad meanies.
Which, I’m editing to add that in NO WAY do I believe that of DA. Just making sure that’s clear.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 13:42:10
@Danielle Monsch Do you need me to lend you some attack poodles? ;)
Jan 23, 2012 @ 13:43:34
@shiloh walker: I love you, too, Shiloh. *smooch*
BTW, Koko has now closed comments on her blog and deleted all comments save Jane’s original one and her response about how she TOTALLY JUST YESTERDAY got an email about her lawsuit so SHENANIGANS! CLEARLY THERE ARE SHENANIGANS HAPPENING.
She never approved my comment mentioning that Jane is in fact a real attorney at all, but then, leaving comments on her blog with the wonky eleventy-digit Captcha/”password” that keeps not reading is so difficult I can’t be sure I did it right anyway.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 13:46:32
Ms. Brown has deleted most of the comments on her post and closed the comments. She has not, however, deleted her post. Interesting.
The giraffe stuff was very educational. I had no idea.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 13:48:58
@Caro
Attack Poodles! Brilliant! You are now officially my evil genius right-hand who will help me take over.
The position comes with a badge and a 10% off Godiva chocolates card :)
Jan 23, 2012 @ 13:49:59
@Danielle Monsch:
If they were an author whose work I’d enjoyed before, or who’d written something that sounds intriguing to me, then sure! Because once an author gets to that point, they know a thing or two about storytelling, editing, and so forth.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 13:53:20
@Grace. Oops, so sorry. I guess I was bouncing off some of the other comments. I see now that’s not what the author actually wrote. But even if you toss that out of the equation, you still have “pitched his tongue”. O.O
It sounds an awful lot to me like Ms. Brown was pushing to get something out there for sale. Just type, type, type, self-publish. The bandwagon is loaded.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 14:12:05
@Danielle Monsch: Brown was traditionally published and edited, by Ellora’s Cave. Which makes this all the worse.
@joanne: I was wondering the same thing, LOL! I need Ridley’s take on this before my day is complete.
Glad to hear the giraffe thing was not actually in the book!
Jan 23, 2012 @ 14:28:24
So, I see the dialogue here has gotten pretty spicy, not sure why. Simply put, a writer had the guts to put out a self published book, and while it may contain some errors, in my opinion (yes I read the book) it was a good story despite the errors. This is my opinion, and like a-holes everyone has one. Of course Jane is welcome to have hers, and as a reviewer that’s what she does. Though to be honest, this review did come off as pretty negative. I want to say that in my opinion, self published authors should not all be considered a monolithic group of bad writers who were rejected by trade publishers. I’ve read traditionally published books that were pure rubbish, yet still they got published…so let’s not pretend being published traditionally, magically means that a story is good or that someone is a good writer. It takes courage to put your work out there, and for that reason alone I encourage this writer to continue to polish and fine tune her writing, because as I said, I enjoyed the story, and many others who reviewed the book on Amazon and ARE did as well. So, who gives a s*it what one reviewer thinks? I sincerely doubt that Jane, or most of the individuals who frequent her site are this author’s audience anyway. With that said, if it makes me a troll because I have a different POV than Jane or anyone else on here consider me trolling!
Jan 23, 2012 @ 14:37:08
The attack poodles alone made reading the whole thread worth my time…
Jan 23, 2012 @ 14:41:00
It always intrigues me when people talk about how much courage/strength/guts it requires to put out a book, and how wrong it is of people to, well, test that strength. Either an author is strong, or they’re not. Six year olds need to be patted and encouraged. Adults who are taking a step considered ‘gutsy’ need to prove themselves, not be applauded for barely making an effort.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 14:48:01
And another author behaving badly with a s**ty book makes it to the bestseller list thanks to a Dear Author Review. Please, Jane…feel free to trash any of my erotic novels. :)
Jan 23, 2012 @ 14:54:56
@Danielle:
The review came off as pretty negative because Jane thought the book was poorly written and edited (if it was edited at all). She then gave examples to back up her opinion. When deciding what to read, I don’t care if an author had the guts to put out a book; I care about the quality of her book.
However, while I disagree with what you’ve written, you have not attacked anyone, so I don’t think you should be labelled a troll.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 14:59:34
@Lori: It was triage. I couldn’t address every issue.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 15:02:18
Well that’s a book that I won’t be reading.
I’ve never understood the backlash when it comes to sites like Dear Author giving less than stellar reviews. It’s one reviewer’s opinion certainly, and probably there is an audience for almost any book out there, but I for one come for the honesty on here. Cringe-worthy grammar and bonkers metaphors combined with a daft plot? I don’t blame Jane at all for giving it an F.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 15:07:14
I have nothing to add to this trainwreck except that I think I’ve got a girlcrush on @Lucy_Dean (comment #27).
Jan 23, 2012 @ 15:08:33
I find this whole debate completely mind-boggling. A review is an opinion of the reviewer about the quality of a book. Quality is made up of BOTH the story and the language used to tell that story. For those of us who still care about proper use of the English language, serious grammatical errors, continuity errors and the use of words improperly without full understanding of their meaning IS part of the quality of a story.
I am a former editor. From my perspective, an author can tell the most fantastically interesting, emotionally appealing story in the world, but if it is poorly expressed and full of grammatical errors, I won’t read it. The problems with language usage pull me out of the story constantly. That is just my opinion. Sure, I can put up with the odd typo or formatting glitch, particularly when reading in electronic form, but when the errors are frequent, I can’t get past it. I don’t see anything “libellous” about pointing out this type of error (not if US libel law is anything like Canadian law).
We are all free to disagree with Jane’s assessment of this book. But I fail to see why people have to take the position that she isn’t entitled to assess it according to what works for her as a reader of romance. I don’t always agree with her opinions, but I find them thoughtful and she always makes it clear where her opinion comes from.
As for whether to buy self-published work or not, I wish there was some way to know in advance when a book has been professionally edited. It seems as if the real problem with self-pubbed material is not that it is self-pubbed (per se) but rather that it frequently seems to be an excuse to avoid editors.
I personally believe that it impossible for a good writer to edit her own stuff. It is impossible to be sufficiently objective and to perceive how the language that the writer has chosen will be understood by a third party who has not been part of the creative process of writing the book. It is also impossible to see the gaps or the inconsistencies in the story. But that’s just my view. In my own experience, it is the best writers that are the most open to receiving the advice of a good editor…
Good thing it’s not busy at work today! This thread has been hugely entertaining.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 15:20:48
I find the inability to distinguish between cite, site and (possibly) sight the most entertaining part of this defense. Perhaps we could do a quick poll. “Words, do they have meaning? Y/N.”
I will counter with my own poll:
“Purple monkey dishwasher? Latvia/Seventy-Three”
Jan 23, 2012 @ 15:29:09
I can’t work out if it’s good or bad that I’m asleep while America is awake and vice versa.
Bad: All the good bun fights happen when I’m asleep.
Good: I get to wake up and read the entire thing in one go while I have my morning coffee!
Danielle said: “I sincerely doubt that Jane, or most of the individuals who frequent her site are this author’s audience anyway.”
This confuses me. DA is a romance blog, for people who like to buy and read romance novels. If someone wishes to sell a romance novel, surely the readers here are, by definition, the target audience?
Jan 23, 2012 @ 15:31:54
@Sandy:
I think you made a mistake. Rule number one of forums is not to attack spelling and grammar but to focus on the substance of the post. This is not a forum. It is a review. There is a difference.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 15:36:24
Thank you for the love @shiloh walker and @darlene marshall :)
I just have two more off-my-legal-high-horse things to add.
I’ve read a couple self-published works, one by a very well established author, and one by a recently buzzed about author. Loved the first one, hated the second. It happens. Preference is a tricky bitch.
But, I woudn’t lump all self-published works in the “crap” pile, particularly since I am a recently disillusioned Lora Leigh fan who cannot and will not read any more of her books until she gets a new editor. And this is a traditionally-published and quite popular author. Crap is crap no matter if it has a pretty paper cover. I’m sure there are tons of self-published authors out there who take pride in their work and I wouldn’t discount them just because *this* one self-published author is not for me.
Secondly, @Danielle is a perfect example of how to cordially but vehemently disagree with a review on this site. “Yo, I liked it. This is what I liked about it. I don’t agree with you. The end.”
Attack poodles, take note.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 15:43:43
@JacquiC WORD
Everyone can benefit from editing. EVERYONE. Doesn’t matter how many books you’ve got under your belt, published or otherwise. Doesn’t matter if you’ve had NYT bestsellers. You need a professional editor, someone who’s in the headspace of the reader, not the writer.
Personally, I can’t get past misspelling the Hero’s name two different ways within the same book, let alone the first chapter. Your H/h are the two people you should be the most intimately familiar with in your own story, wouldn’t ya think?
Jan 23, 2012 @ 15:53:24
One self-published book that was poorly edited does not invalidate self-publishing. And I’m sorry to see the conversation shift in that direction.
I make my living as a copy editor of book manuscripts for self-publishing authors. And it’s a pretty good living. I have dozens of clients, and am often booked for weeks and even months in advance.
What that proves is that there are many, many self-publishing authors out there determined to take a disciplined approach to getting their books into the market. The ones I work with have beta readers and critique partners, and hire copy editors, cover designers, proofreaders, layout designers and e-book formatters. And I know a lot of people who do what I do. There is a real support structure out there for self-publishing authors, and we’re easy to find.
They understand that it takes a village to build a book, and that that village has to be populated by professionals, and that the building process costs money. They happily invest because they see the long tail — the idea that, with an equally disciplined marketing plan, they could make enough money to make their dreams come true.
And that’s just what’s happened in many cases. Several of my clients have been able to quit their jobs and focus on writing, thanks to their Amazon royalties. Some have been offered traditional publishing contracts on generous terms, and even said no when those terms weren’t generous enough. Some have gotten major media attention. Most have sold several thousand books.
Self-publishing has come of age, folks, and when it’s done right, it pays incredible dividends. (Aside to Danielle: Ann Charles is a friend of mine, and she’s a wonderful example of somebody who’s done everything right. She’s got one fearsome work ethic!)
And as for the commenter who said that they’d come back to self-published books when a screening mechanism was put into place? That mechanism already exists, and it’s called the marketplace. Bad books sink quickly. Good books rise to the surface and live long lives and generate lots of money and lots of new possibilities.
We now live in a wonderful new post-traditional-paradigm world in which the reader — as evidenced by the very existence of this blog — is the only gatekeeper that matters.
Finally, for Koko Brown: Try to see past the harshness of the criticism to the criticism itself, which is valid criticism. And next time, hire a good copy editor. We’re nice, we’re friendly, we won’t empty out your bank account … and we’ll make your book impervious to reviews like this one. In short, we’ll position you for lasting success.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 16:12:38
1. After reading Jane’s laundry list of horrendous writing in this book I swear it sounds like Crack!Fic.
2. As someone who is interested in self-publishing someday, it’s work like this that pisses me off and leads me to my theory that the self-publishing boom can’t last forever. http://raesrantsraves.blogspot.com/2012/01/is-there-enough-pie-to-go-around.html
3. None of us should be surprised that the author and satisfied readers of this tripe resort to immature, highly unprofessional behavior in response to honest criticism.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 16:27:21
@Jim Thomsen: “And as for the commenter who said that they’d come back to self-published books when a screening mechanism was put into place? That mechanism already exists, and it’s called the marketplace. Bad books sink quickly. Good books rise to the surface and live long lives and generate lots of money and lots of new possibilities. ”
I’d say the apparent success of this self-published book and others contradicts your point. There are too many readers who simply don’t notice issues like grammar and editing.
The tool that does exist — the sample. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought about getting a book, took a look at the sample and realized it was not much different from what’s written at Wattpad with titles like “I was a Fifteen Year Old Virgin and My Boyfriend is a Rock Star Millionaire Vampire and Thinks I’m the Hottest Thing Ever.”
Jan 23, 2012 @ 16:33:07
@eggs
About DA readers not being Koko Brown readers… In general I do think there is a divide between the expectations of erotic readers and regular romance readers. I find erotic romance readers will put up with a lot more poor craft and editing than regular romance readers. (Have come to that conclusion over time by watching which titles are successful…)
Is Players Ultimatum an erotica title, an erotic romance title, or a romance? I mean, either way it deserves to be judged for its editing errors, but I can see some factions more than willing to overlook that for hot sex. (mm..giraffe-tongue…)
Jan 23, 2012 @ 16:34:35
I really don’t understand how authors so frequently get their knickers in a twist over a bad review. Give me–as a reader– some credit for being able to read between the lines and determine whether my taste may differ from that of the reviewer! I’ve bought many books that have received poor reviews, and I’ve passed over some books with glowing reviews. A review is enormously helpful to me, but it’s not the last word.
@Danielle: I’m not sure what you meant by your comment,
“I sincerely doubt that Jane, or most of the individuals who frequent her site are this author’s audience anyway.” We’re readers with an interest in romance. The book appears to be a romance. Many elements of Ms. Brown’s book piqued *my* interest: the Italian setting (I’m so tired of contemporaries set in charming small towns in America where the only businesses are knitting stores, bakeries, and so on), the subplot of the friend’s sexual orientation affecting his career opportunities, and the (presumably) hot romance of an American abroad with the star of a European sports team. The grammatical errors and cliches mentioned in the review put me off this particular book (as did reading the free sample pages on Amazon), but it’s entirely possible someone else reading the same review might decide to try the book.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 16:46:13
@JimThomsen
::swoon::
I think I love you!
Jan 23, 2012 @ 16:47:29
@joanne:
I stayed up until 6am reading a book, then slept really, REALLY late. Regrets, I have a few…
Jan 23, 2012 @ 16:55:18
@Jennie: I’ll put you down for “N” then.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 17:14:41
@iRock
Thanks for the clarification. So it isn’t that you are against self-publishing per se, it’s that you don’t want to sift through it to find the quality stuff. This I can understand.
I appreciate the response!
Jan 23, 2012 @ 17:24:55
Anyone who doesn’t care about the editing and grammar probably should avoid my blog too! :)
Thx for the review Jane. Clearly a book (and an author, given her poor form response) I need to avoid. Maybe I should create a Goodreads shelf like Ridley has? (I think she call’s it “authors to avoid” or something).
Jan 23, 2012 @ 17:51:40
@courtship: Except a lot of us here read and/or write erotic romance. We read romance of all stripes and predictions. And while it may have been true ten or fifteen years ago that if you wanted an erotic rom you had to settle on quality, that hasn’t been true for a good many years now.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 17:54:35
@Kaetrin: It’s bratty-authors-to-avoid and it’s the most satisfying shelf I have. I’ve only recently started adding why in the review field but I wish I had from the get-go. It’s fairer when people can read why the author’s on my shitlist and make her mind up as to whether she cares or not.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 18:04:39
I should amend what I wrote — it by no means only applies to self-published books.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 18:06:45
@willaful:
Word. This. That. (And whatever other cool word I’m supposed to use.)
It blows me away that people complain about a crappy self-published book, but never use the sample option.
As a voracious reader, I sift through hundreds of books each month. Old, new, soon to be released. I pass on a lot of things for a lot of reasons. Do I miss out on good stuff? Probably. Do I read crappy stuff? Definitely.
I don’t care where/how it is published. All I care about is me. Me.Me, me. Was I entertained?
Coming from the trenches of fanfiction, where we routinely put on hazmat suits to find the cubic zirconia, much less the diamond in the rough, all this hate for self-published and love for ‘gatekeepers’ is rather puzzling because all I hear is, “Take away all these choices. I can’t handle so many choices.”
Just to be clear – in no way am I disagreeing with the review or the need for basic grammar/editing or even the fact that the bulk of self-published works out there is mediocre at best – I simply get frustrated with the knee-jerk hate for everything self-pub’d.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 18:08:46
Eep, seeing as how I’m a self-pubber and people might think that that is me (since I comment here so often). Please note, the above DANI IS NOT ME. Erg. Definitely not me. And, for the record, I’m in Jane’s camp here.
I’ve also sent out an open letter to reviewers: An Open Letter To Reviewers
Forever grateful not to be lumped in with those raging review responders,
Dani Alexander
Jan 23, 2012 @ 18:12:53
@Ridley: It’s positively a community service Ridley!
Jan 23, 2012 @ 18:53:26
To all the book’s defenders…
Ya know, for what it’s worth, as I understand it, even getting flayed on Dear Author leads to increased book sales. I don’t have any hard data, but I get the impression that for every person saying, “Nuh-uh, no way, no how am I buying this book,” there are lurkers who scurry off to buy a copy, if only out of morbid curiosity.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 19:02:52
@P. Kirby: “Ya know, for what it’s worth, as I understand it, even getting flayed on Dear Author leads to increased book sales. ”
Then that author must have no logic. That first book will sell, but obviously the reviewers aren’t just pulling stuff out of their butt. So in the end (pun intended), the author has just made a second novel’s success unlikely.
Which is the quandary with this misbehavior. Let’s say, for instance, that a few of these authors are having these meltdowns because they heard it’s great publicity and the book starts selling. I wish I could find out what that did to sales of their second novel. Does the attraction of readers and buyers mean that the second novel sells well? (ie; never bad publicity) Or do they lose so many readers through their bad behavior that the second novel tanks.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 19:15:12
Cite. CITE. Cite, cite, cite, cite.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 19:22:04
This one sounds so painfully bad, I’d rather be going to have major dental work than to read this drivel. You’ve listed pretty much exactly why I avoid nearly all self-published books, as they tend to be not very good. Thank you for taking one for the team.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 20:26:18
I would totally read this. In fact, I think I have. It was a manga.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 20:53:28
@CK
I’ve learned that samples are my friend. Just this weekend, I downloaded a sample of a book by a well-known author, professionally edited, published by one of the big NYC publishers. Annoyed me so badly I couldn’t delete it off my Kindle App fast enough. This is an author whom I’ve read before, but the book was a departure from those stories and clearly, it wasn’t for me.
At the same time, samples have let me try new authors and add some stuff to the library I might not have otherwise picked up. I’m feeling broke, one of my favorite things to do is go to Amazon and grab samples for almost anything that sounds interesting.
LOL! Too true, far too true.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 21:45:45
I think this is an awesome review. I just want to point out that the feminine form of “fiancé” is “fiancée.” Otherwise, thanks for taking one for the team! (No pun intended.)
Trolls, you never give up, do you? If the author hadn’t turned out a shoddy book, DA wouldn’t have so much to point out.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 22:21:54
@Dear Author Fan: I know the difference between fiancé and fiancée when I see it but i don’t think of he difference when I write it. Must be some kind of word blindness
Jan 24, 2012 @ 00:11:59
I know it’s a huge protocol breach for an author to come into a review thread and start hawking her own work, but the hell with it. I’m tired of laughing at self-pubbed authors who refuse to invest in editing and proofreading services. I’d rather make money off of them.
I shall attempt to convince them that if they won’t pay for an editor, then they should at the very, very, very least pay for a copy editor/proofreader, and I will work for very reasonable rates. I’ve been paid to proof biochemical patents and legal briefs. I am an English major and a grammar Nazi.
I am also the writer whose first book nearly contained a painfully inappropriate instance of the word “lathed”. How does an English major and someone who’s proofed legal documents for pay type “lathed” when she was thinking “laved,” and then fail to notice it in the course of numerous bouts of proofreading? Beats the hell out of me, but it’s really easy to miss the big stinkers in your own document that you would immediately spot in someone else’s. This is why publishers use several copy editors and proofreaders for a book. This is also why so many self-pubbed books reek — either because authors are so anxious to get their precious jewels to market that they can’t bear to take the extra time to let someone read it, or else they don’t think it’s worth spending $500 to make a .99 book better. And this is why so many savvy readers automatically ignore .99 books.
I know what commas are and how they work. I don’t confuse terms like “peek” and “peak” and I can quickly spot a sexual act that would, if performed in real life, result in serious bodily injury and fodder for websites specializing in real life emergency room stories.
I’m proficient in Word and in Amazon’s Kindle formatting platform; ditto Smaswords. I can save the self-pubbed author all those embarrassing notes and references and funky empty brackets. I’ve self-published three books on Kindle already, and while not all reviews have been laudatory, none have ever mentioned grammar, syntax or formatting.
The only problem, of course, is that the kind of self-publishing author who truly needs the services I’m describing is the very kind who doesn’t know it and would be rather insulted if I offered them. “Oh, no, that’s okay – I’ve written lots of books. I don’t get hung up on grammar and spelling and “rules” like that. I’m more interested in telling a story.”
This approach works for a very select few, those gazillion-selling authors who can’t write their way out of a paper bag but tell interesting stories (not naming names here, but none of the ones I’m thinking of are in romance). But even these writers have copy editors who make sure characters keep the same name, spelled the same way, from one paragraph to the next.
I know, it’s too long. ‘S what happens when I comment while on cough medicine.
Jan 24, 2012 @ 01:06:57
Wow, I wondered how the book had generated so many comments :)
I don’t really like the sports romance subgenre. But I also don’t really like the fantasy subgenre. And yet on the basis of Dear Author reviews or comments from Dear Author readers, I have read nearly half a dozen fantasy romances over the past 12 to 18 months or so. I thoroughly enjoyed the books, too. So the question of whether the readers here are the target audience for the reviewed book seems open to me.
Bad editting can ruin even a great story because it can bring the reader to a screeching halt and right out of the story. If the reader has to work too hard to figure out what the author meant to say, from the wreckage of what she actually said, the reader isn’t likely to continue to read the book.
I think Dear Author has made a solid case for why the writing in the story detracts from any appeal the story itself might have–evem before she gets to the even more critical problem of how the cliches have taken over the sanitarium.
I’m sorry the author and her minions are so offended by this idea, but really, if you’re going to take on the craft of writing, you simply cannot be all that shocked when such slipshod work is passed off as a finished product.
Jan 24, 2012 @ 01:36:10
@Kinsey: I wouldn’t worry about the protocol breach, Jim Thomsen already flashed us the goods earlier in the thread!
Without even looking for a copy editor, I now know the name of two. How freaking hard can it be then for an author who’s actually in need of a copy editor to find one? Is it just a matter of money, or is it the Dunning–Kruger effect in action?
Karen Knows Best » Too good to pass up (as blog fodder)
Jan 24, 2012 @ 02:00:38
[...] that’s just the start (seriously, this is like comment ten or so). Naughty Girl pops up just a tad later with this oh so generous! offer: This does read like a retaliation. And of course [...]
Jan 24, 2012 @ 03:58:03
@CK:
I don’t care where/how it is published. All I care about is me. Me.Me, me. Was I entertained?
YES, that’s exactly it! Btw, I didn’t know that “Angelfall” by Susan Ee was a self published book before I read it. It is one of the best books I read last year.
Jan 24, 2012 @ 06:38:17
And Angelfall had good copy editing!
Player’s Ultimatum by Koko Brown | Books in the News
Jan 24, 2012 @ 09:21:08
[...] gay best friend while being attracted to his nemesis. I not only bought it but sent a message to Jane at DearAuthor, since she and I both enjoy sports-focused [...]
Jan 24, 2012 @ 09:46:12
@Sandy:
Sandy, this may very well be your “Reviewer’s code” and perhaps other reviewer pals of yours feel the same way.
While I will never “attack” a book’s poor technical writing, I will indeed criticize it because, for me at least, technical writing quality affects my reading experience.
If an author believes his work is good enough to command royalties, s/he should have enough self-respect to present the best quality product (book) possible to the book’s audience (paying customers.)
Jan 24, 2012 @ 09:46:41
I left this comment over on the review at Smart Bitches too. Everybody is ranting about the book and the author, but I don’t think I’ve seen a single comment positing on the question of why does this author have readers willing to pay money for her books?
Authors such as Brown have a lot of readers. They read majority romance too, so these readers know what well-written stories are, but accept these stories with grammatical errors.
They are definitely not stupid. My theory is they want these sort of authentic stories (by BW) and there are few traditional pubs supplying them along with decent editing.
I was told this was the case with romantic erotica before it got big. But I’m thinking there are not enough readers for these sort of stories for trad publishing to pick up on them.
These readers will continue to be served by indie authors and online e-pubs, and tolerate cliches and poor editing in return for the characters in the situations they want to read. This will change and more and better authors enter the subgenre, which they will…I do think authenticity is also valued by these readers, and while grammatical errors abound, if the voice is authentic, these errors are tolerated, if at all possible.
Jan 24, 2012 @ 10:15:47
I read to enjoy, not to tolerate. That is why sampling, book blogs, and selected Goodreaders are my friends.
As Eggs said above, I now know the names of some copy editors and I am not an author trying to publish stories for any audience, let alone a niche audience. Some others have put links to formatting and other guides. The info is out there. If you feel your story has to be put into the world, doesn’t it deserve to be the best it can be?
In Praise of the Personal Review | Dear Author
Jan 24, 2012 @ 11:15:57
[...] you get rants on specific reviews that generate numerous generalizations and misunderstandings. We saw that here on Dear Author just yesterday. Then you get these macro-level generalizations about, say, less than [...]
Jan 24, 2012 @ 12:04:58
I can see all of you had nothing better to do. When attacking one person wasn’t enough it turned into multiple shock and awe strikes with your clever, witty attempts at superiority.
The format you read it on must vary. I , myself did not find your little boxes, etc.
I am however, loving how much time you took to pick apart each and everything you could in this book. Your dedication to hating this book is very admirable. I imagine to you it was well worth it to sit here and type out each and every sentence you found fault with. Imagine all of the productive things you could’ve done with your time. This went WAY beyond a review. Very professional and classy, too.
As for the multiple sites I review for, it is in our “suggestions” that we do not attack punctuation and point out these errors.
As I have said previously, even best sellers have punctuation and grammatical errors. Yet, here sits the “Queen For A Day”, surrounded by her subjects who as chance would have it, also type with punctuation and grammatical errors for all to see. Funny thing about all of us, we’re human. Any attempt you make to “clarify” this as simply a “review” only furthers the fact that it is an attack.( Refer to your many, many sentences posted with surgical care.)
Tell me this…How does it feel to sit upon that self proclaimed pedestal ? Would all of your loyal followers support you if the situation were reversed? When you are published and find yourself on the receiving end of a literary shredding, I sincerely hope so.
Feel free to rip this apart also. I wouldn’t want to deprive you of the opportunity to spend another day ferociously pounding the keys, wasting more of your precious time. Have fun ;0)
Jan 24, 2012 @ 12:56:47
@Sandy-
When someone puts out a product for sale, everything about that product is up for critical review.
If I buy a stereo and the knobs don’t work, or there’s some other malfunction, then I have a right to complain about it. I can’t give a huge company some slack just because they can’t check every single item that get’s produced because they put it up for sale and I PAID for it. I deserve a fulling functioning product.
Everyone says books are different, but they’re not. Many readers will forgive the occasional typo or grammar error in a book that has been through a rigorous editing process. They will even forgive a small pubbed or self-pubbed book a few more editorial errors, but when a book is riddled with them, then what exactly is the reader paying for? That the author spent their personal time writing a story? That would mean that anyone could write up any crap and sell it and say they deserve money because they spent a few hours writing it and their time is worth money.
That the story itself is compelling enough to forgive a non or badly edited book? That would mean again, if I write something entertaining but in a sloppy, unreadable way, then I get to charge money for that because hey, I’m a creative genius and I should charge for that.
Every reader has a priority and will forgive other issues if their priority in a book is satisfying. However, a book is a product in its entirety and readers have a right to criticize every part of that product.
Jan 24, 2012 @ 13:18:47
@Monica Jackson: I haven’t read much recently published erotic romance, but I definitely see the same tendencies in the m/m genre. It’s not that these readers somehow deserve inferior writing quality or are so stupid they don’t notice it, it’s that the niche is sufficiently small or marginalized that readers put up with lower quality just to get this particular style of storytelling. And they are protective of the books and authors so they cheerlead and don’t appreciate negative reviews.
Lots of people single out certain m/m presses as having egregiously bad editing (content & copy both). And yet those presses do very well in the marketplace.
Jan 24, 2012 @ 13:30:52
@Sandy:
Hate to say this…but the book was atrocious. On a visceral level. And I read TONS of well written erotica on a regular basis. Atrocious. God-awful even. So get over yourself that others dislike poor grammar and bad writing. At least I know to avoid your site. You would not steer me in the correct direction and I would end up wasting my money.
Jan 24, 2012 @ 13:31:00
@Sandy:
Sandy, look. Just chill out.
Jan 24, 2012 @ 13:36:32
@Sandy: Please just tell me what sites have guidelines not to mention multiple typos and grammar mistakes, so I will be sure to avoid those sites and not to trust their reviews as to quality of the written work. I often feel guilty when I miss grammar mistakes in the book and make sure to qualify that in the beginning of the reviews I do, if I have the slightest reason to suspect that this might be the case. But I am an esl reviewer, I would hope that I will be forgiven for this limitation (and of course if I spot more than a few, I will always mention them). Not to mention them on purpose? So you would deliberately subject reader to buying inferior product?
P.S. Yes, it was an entertaining read (I definitely find that I cant turn my eyes from those if I open them, so I guess I should try not to look at F reviews here in the first place), but also a sad one. This is another confirmation for me why I would rather not leave negative review, if I can see that author would go to such absolutely crazy lengths to attack reviewer. Contentious relationship, really?? I cannot find one sentence in this review where Jane attacked the writer’s person, only sharp (and seems like very well deserved criticism of the product this writer put on the market) and oh boy it seems like this is the only thing author was doing – attacking Jane personally.
Jan 24, 2012 @ 13:49:12
What site does @Sandy review for?
We have a Sandy over at The Good, The Bad and The Unread, but it’s definitely not her.
Jan 24, 2012 @ 14:09:03
Wow. I came to this discussion late but just wow. I have to say I flit between multiple genres. My one shining pet peeve is bad writing followed by errors. If your story is entertaining enough, I won’t notice minor errors until I have reread the books several times. I have read plenty of well-edited, well-written erotic romances with good plots and interesting characters. I don’t think that writing an erotic romance (of whatever stripe m/m, m/f, mmmf etc) excludes you from the responsibility to put together a coherent and decent product. There are many authors out there both press and self-published who could do with some aggressive editing and grammar training.
I can say that I don’t agree with every review on the site. There are books that I loved that DA was meh to hate on and books that I hated that DA was meh to love on. It happens. We all have different tastes. The great thing is that we can discuss what we like and don’t like. Even better, when you can give an example of what was frustrating it really helps in decision making. If it is spelling errors, a TSTL heroine, an abusive hero, etc, everyone gets to know what will turn them off. Though people claim that you can read samples to get an idea, I have to say that is not true. For those very short stories, sometimes you get no real sample or it is limited to a paragraph. I depend on reviews before I pick books up. Even if it is only 99 cents, my time is worth more if it turns out to be a piece of crap.
Jan 24, 2012 @ 15:17:21
@Sunita: It’s not that these readers somehow deserve inferior writing quality or are so stupid they don’t notice it, it’s that the niche is sufficiently small or marginalized that readers put up with lower quality just to get this particular style of storytelling.
I’ve been giving this some thought as I read through this thread. Even in a niche market, readers should not have to put up with an inferior product, especially one they paid for. If they don’t let it be known that they expect the same quality book as is available in the mainstream, they’re never going to get that quality book.
Furthermore, I think passive acceptance of an inferior product hurts that niche as a whole. We still see this in mainstream genres: the dismissal of romance or SF or (insert genre here) as tripe cranked out by bored housewives or slackers or – or – or.. If you’re struggling to get recognition for your niche, the last thing you want is to be recognized for putting out crap – at best. At worst, you’re reinforcing negative stereotypes about your racial/ethnic group; gender; sexual orientation; religion; or whatever group the niche may cater to. (You know how it goes — what can you expect from a Plutonian? A monkey with a typewriter could do better.)
Jan 24, 2012 @ 15:34:30
@Sandra:
I agree 100%
I refuse to pay for crap – no matter what the “niche” is. Get it right or keep it at home.
Jan 24, 2012 @ 17:14:09
@Monica Jackson
That’s what I was trying to say, but you said it better. Many of these books getting slammed at mainstream review sites and snubbed by publishers are selling majillions of copies to readers and sometimes have hundreds of five star reviews. I can’t believe they are all friends of the author.
There are definitely readers out there who will look past quality for content that hits their sweet spot. Many thousands, perhaps millions of readers. (I’m looking at you, Twilighters.)
Maybe it’s the whole fanfic phenomenon bleeding into “real literature.”
Jan 24, 2012 @ 17:54:50
@courtship: Remembering my early days of reading romance, almost 10 years ago, I have to agree. Speaking for myself and my early days of reading romance, the “quality” of the sub-genre of romance that got me hooked (erotic romance) was not particularly high. However, I LOVED each and every single book from the publisher I had just discovered that I could get my hands on. I have fond memories of that time, how much I anticipated new releases, and how it got me searching for more epublishers from where to get my “instant gratification” from. I could care less about “quality”, all I cared about was how the story made me feel, how much I enjoyed the story. Of course, I can’t say I remember ever having read something so plagued with errors as the above, tbh. I actually feel like going over some of my early reads to see how I feel about them now, as I have been exposed to far more romance in terms of sub-genres, authors and publishers. I suspect I may not be as forgiving though. That was part of my “growth” as a romance reader. I do think, however, that readers of those stories that may seem sub par to many of us, may be willing to forgive the mistakes or even not realize that what they are reading is not exactly a sample of good grammar. It’s sad, but I think that’s the reality of it all. I believe Jane wrote about this in one of her blog articles.
Jan 24, 2012 @ 21:58:30
@Mireya: I also remember my first forays into erotic romance and how the quality didn’t matter as much. I even reviewed for several sites and honestly, when I look back, I’m almost embarrassed at what I thought was good. I ended up quitting reviewing when they were all about not mentioning formatting errors or grammar issues and only giving glowing reviews. Yet in the beginning, erotic romance was such a novelty to me and so many others that we didn’t care. I see this happening now with many of the self-pubbed stuff. There’s always going to be people who care about those stories, but for those of us who want quality content, we know where to go to get the recommendations we can trust.
Jan 24, 2012 @ 23:29:18
“average looks wouldn’t call any boys to the yard. So very few tasted her milkshake.”
All I am going to say here is I never liked that song. I don’t remember who sang it but I found it gross. Pop culture references only work if people notice and like them.
Jan 25, 2012 @ 08:35:40
@January
*blink* That’s from a song? Truly? Link, please?
Jan 25, 2012 @ 08:50:15
@Melinda: I think the song is “Milkshake” by Kelis. I thought the line from the book was very odd, because I didn’t immediately remember the song.
Then again, I had the same problem with the diamond dick line. It took me a second before I though, “Ohhh, diamonds are a girl’s best friend. I get it now.”
Jan 25, 2012 @ 08:53:13
“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
I could teach you, but I’d have to charge.”
–Kelis
Jan 25, 2012 @ 08:57:10
@Should be working, dammit: Ahhh. I hated that song…and the video. IIRC that was Kelis’ death knell as an entertainer. Haven’t seen her since…
Jan 25, 2012 @ 16:01:51
@MrsJoseph: Kelis was nominated for a Grammy for the album after the Milkshake album, and she had a couple of singles that hit the top of various UK charts as recently as 2010. Her performance at Glastonbury in 2010 received positive reviews from the Guardian and NME. So she’s not exactly invisible.
Jan 25, 2012 @ 19:29:04
@LG
I’d say thank you but I got on iTunes and listened to it, and now I wish I hadn’t. That’s gonna be a nasty ear worm.
Jan 26, 2012 @ 08:25:00
@Melinda: Even just recalling that the song existed got it stuck in my head, so I understand.
Jan 26, 2012 @ 14:56:08
Thank you, Jane! As a reader who finds it impossible to overlook spelling mistakes, a lack of commas, and inconsistent characterization regardless of what I’m reading, I greatly appreciate reviews that don’t overlook them or pretend they aren’t there.
And I will never understand why anyone -flying monkey or otherwise- would think that a review like this one is a personal attack or an indication that reviewers only give this sort of review to a self-published book for some nefarious reason or purpose. It’s just such a misguided reaction.
Stumbling Over Chaos :: Leave it to linkity
Jan 27, 2012 @ 02:10:29
[...] This week’s author meltdown… (Thanks, Stephani!) [...]
Jan 27, 2012 @ 03:29:56
I am not sure of everyone that commented considering, as someone said, “I am late to the party.” Honestly, this is not something I would read because I tend to dislike certain elements this book contains. That being said, grammar mistakes such as Jane described initially irritate to no end. I am a writer, myself. I correct my grammar and word usage continuously throughout the writing process. Although I am not published, I do hope to be eventually.
Whether I self-publish or have an outside publisher, I would be horrified to see my ARCs looking this bad, let alone the finished product. Although grammar can get in the way of the story, I can generally ignore it unless it is egregious. Which this example was. I read reviews so I can get an idea of the story, how well the book flows, whether there are massive grammar mistakes that disturb the reading, etc. Yes, there are people out there that review books I loved and don’t like them. As long as they have a logical reason for disliking the book, then there’s nothing wrong with the review.
I often ignore reviews on the website selling the book because the people commenting are not professional reviewers. They read books that openly state they are for a specific audience (m/m, BDSM, menage, etc.) Then, first thing, they say they don’t like that genre. If you don’t like the genre, why are you reading it? Since I do like the genre, what good is your opinion to me? They also tend to say things like, “I loved this story. It was great!” or, “I hated this story. It was stupid.” Yes, these are opinions and everyone is entitled to theirs, but if you cannot tell me why you liked or didn’t like the book, then your opinion is worthless.
The interesting thing here is that Jane’s review denigrates neither the author nor the genre. Someone mentioned how the novel is a “niche” romance, and many people do not expect good writing because so few write for that niche. I am not really sure what niche they are talking about. The only two I can possibly see here are sports and interracial/multicultural. Since I have read dozens of romance novels based around sports, I fail to see the lack. As for multicultural/interracial, I will grant you that I don’t read these commonly. When I do, that is not one of the base concepts for the story. It is a side note because the characters are so well written that they just seem like HUMANS.
I read several types of books that might be considered to be written for a niche audience. I expect all of the books I read to live up to a minimum standard, regardless of the genre.
We all have the right and the privilege to be able to speak our own opinions, but that doesn’t give us blanket licence to be rude or obnoxious. Jane, I came here from Stumbling Over Chaos and will certainly be adding this to my blogs to follow!
[Edited to add the comma I forgot.]
Jan 27, 2012 @ 08:58:58
@nearhere:
My curiosity got the better of me, and I looked up how big a giraffe’s tongue actually is. I don’t think anyone is truly ready for such 18 to 20 inches of mobile blue-black tongue.
Around the Bookish World : News Week-in-Review | Book Lovers Inc.
Jan 27, 2012 @ 14:00:48
[...] Dear Author was the site which featured author meltdown Part one hundred million times infinity in the next spate of author meltdowns due to a negative review. I wont comment on this topic because I have said my piece so many times. But the thread is epic! It haz trolls, minions and you bitter jellus mean girls and y’all out to get me blog linkage. But if you want to see a train-wreck check out the review. [...]
Jan 27, 2012 @ 17:29:16
@Sandy: Hi Sandy! With all due respect (and I do not mean that sarcastically), I have to disagree most wholeheartedly with the statement, “Rule number 1 of any Reviewer’s code is to NOT attack punctuation and grammar.”
Indeed, it’s a very rare book that is without any indisputable errors of punctuation or grammar. And one can find a handful of mechanical errors in self-published books and big-name NY releases alike. But when such errors are excessive and/or egregious, there’s really no reason why a reviewer cannot include such in their discussion of a book.
I’ve not read Ms. Brown’s book, so I cannot say much of anything about its mechanical issues (though inconsistency in the main character’s name is–if it truly occurred throughout the novel–a failing no matter what). But in the most general sense, aspects within a book that severely detract (or distract) from the enjoyment of the story should be fair game. As a reader, I should hope that a book reviewer would address serious mechanical issues alongside any other elements of a book.
All that said, I do agree that there should be no “attacking” of anything. But attacking is by no means the same thing as addressing something that’s seen as unfavorable…particularly when the reasoning therein is not made personal.
Jan 28, 2012 @ 11:12:49
This review won’t keep me from self-pubbed books or interracial for that matter. You find some duds along with gems just like in any other genre or publisher.
Jan 28, 2012 @ 18:11:59
Hmmm…that’s quite a bit of quotes you’ve used of this author’s work. Per the Copyright Fair Use Act aren’t you limited to the amount of material you can quote? Hope you aren’t slapped with a lawsuit.
Jan 28, 2012 @ 19:28:54
@Peter: Nope, this is covered under Fair Use (“quotation of excerpts in a review or criticism for purposes of illustration or comment”) without specification as to how many quotes can be used. But I’m sure doing something like posting whole chapters, or some such, would be crossing the line.
Jan 29, 2012 @ 01:50:38
Um Alisha no. A book reviewer is only allowed 1% of an author’s work that they can quote. Ms. Litte did not pass the line in her original review. But in her one of her follow-up comments where she lifts more than two dozen passages to further illustrate her point thats not Fair Use just saying…
Jan 29, 2012 @ 05:59:38
@Peter:
99% of all statistics posted on comments are pulled from the poster’s ass.
See what I did there?
Also, iirc, Jane is a lawyer.
I feel it’s my sworn duty as a citizen to point out that statistic thing. I’m so sick of percentages being thrown out here and there without any citations to back it up. (plural – citations).
Jan 29, 2012 @ 06:32:11
@Peter: Thank you for the clarification, Peter. Perhaps we’re discussing two different points of reference? I’m talking about a section of the U.S. Copyright Law that addresses fair use. In it, there’s reference to the reproduction of the essence or core of the work; that is, that the merit of fair use reproduction is relative to the content of the work in question…just a series of factors that would be applied in context. But none that I know of that provide a hard-and-fast number or percentage.
In any case, I’m assuming that the limitation you’re referring to is in specific relation to long-form text-based media? Because for instance, quoting a 500-word piece (article, poem, etc.) would mean a limitation of five words. Which sounds a bit limiting, practically and logistically speaking. I would be interested in the source of your reference, though. This one percent stipulation sounds intriguing.
On a slightly different note, I just found that comment that you mentioned (the follow-up one posted by the reviewer). Wow…*that* is indeed a lot of quoting. o.O And it’s a bit ironic that the reviewer posted that particular content in response to a threat/allegation from one of the commenters. Damned if you do/don’t, I suppose. ^_^
Jan 29, 2012 @ 06:51:45
@Peter
What’s most important here would be rather or not Ms. Brown could prove that she lost sales or her career plummeted because of this review. And she wouldn’t be able to and no lawyer would touch it if it has no monetary benefit for them. This review probably sold her more books and I think a commenter on SB said that her website ranks like #5 now when you Google interracial romance books. And those rankings can last for months if not years…
The Pricking Thumb – to the movies…
Jan 29, 2012 @ 07:00:47
[...] James Thompson on reviewing. And here’s what happens when you review something and the author isn’t happy (reminds me of the Greek Seaman affair (which, by the way, is not a personal memory I am sharing, [...]
Jan 29, 2012 @ 08:30:11
@Peter: there is no.set percentage of what can be quoted from.original source material on a critique either in the actual code provisions or in the case law.interpreting the code provisions.
I am sorry if someone is misleading you about the Fair Use provisions.
In Which an Author Discovers Stinging Insects | But It's a Dry Heat
Feb 02, 2012 @ 17:21:37
[...] posting a definition of what constitutes a review. Others muster their friends, unleashing them on the reviewer like a pitchfork-and-torch-wielding mob. (This says a lot about the author and their friends. My [...]
Feb 09, 2012 @ 07:44:55
@Jane no misleading. In Wright vs. Warner books the writer was given fair use provision only because they used less than 1% of Richard Wright’s material and critique’s are not exempt from this.