Aug 27 2011

REVIEW: Loving Scarlett, Scarlett Rose and the Seven Longhorns Book1 by Lola Newmar

Dear Ms. Newmar:

I had almost forgotten I had read this book until the bull semen news story jogged my memory. I think I was purposely trying to repress it. I understand that this series published by Siren and books like it featuring multiple “heroes” are very popular and are earning you all tons of money. It is one of the more befuddling things in life much like the origins of the universe theories. Maybe unknowable.

Loving Scarlett Scarlett Rose and the Seven Longhorns 1 Lola NewmarLoving Scarlett is the first in a series of 9 stories, all approximately 20K words and sold for $5+ each. The premise of the series is that these bull shifters have one mate that they search for all their lives, some families of shifters never finding their mate. The seven Lenox brothers find their mate in Scarlett. Why there are 9 stories and not 7 is another of those unknowable mysteries. It is important when reading this book, or indeed, even this review, that readers not get caught up in trivial things like consistency or rationality of thought.

The story begins with Scarlett Rose on the side of a cliff. She wakes up with no memory, her clothing torn and her body bruised. She begins to slowly regain her memory by simple things, such as talking:

“Well, that’s nuttier than a fruitcake,” she voiced aloud.
She gasped and covered her mouth in realization she had spoken in a deep Texan drawl. Texas! I’m Texan!

Sweet Mary Joseph. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

From the cliff she can see a vast ranch and a man on a horse herding four huge longhorn. Three of them red and one white. She can even see, from her position on the cliff, that the man on the horse is shirtless and that he has “chiseled muscles and … massive, broad chest and shoulders.”

The man on the horse is Denzel and he is herding four of his brothers because, well, I’m not sure why shapeshifting bulls need another shapeshifting bull in human form to herd them. The scene is told from Devlin’s point of view and he’s not happy about training for his upcoming stint in the rodeo tour. Early on in the book I asked myself all kinds of questions like why is Devlin training. Why is his brother riding a horse around instead of shifting into a bull himself? Why am I even debating with myself the whys and wherefores of BULL SHIFTERS??

It is explained that the longer the bulls remain in bull form, the stronger that they get and the sharper their minds are. You call this “supply and demand” but that’s not really what supply and demand means. Supply and demand is an economic model for pricing. But even taking pricing out of the equation, the supply and demand model searches for an equilibrium at which supply and demand are equal and thus – oh for god’s sake, just take it as a given that your use of supply and demand in this context is incorrect and I’ll move on:

Their shape-shifting strength was a matter of supply and demand. The more they remained in their bull forms, the stronger their strength and the sharper their minds when they allowed their inner beasts to be unleashed.

Devlin, in bull form, is distracted by a “glimmer” in the wooded cliffs and somehow is able to not only see Scarlett picking her way down the cliff, but also that the glimmer came from her “silver necklace.”FN1 Worse, his “inner beast” rockets to the surface at the long bright red streak on her arm.FN2 As he is racing toward Scarlett, he is brought up abruptly once he catches her scent. It is the scent of their mate.

Scarlett and the bulls exist in a state of near constant arousal when near one another. Or are thinking of each other, even from the very beginning (although the beginning is a misnomer as this entire story takes place in one day). Her pussy is constantly clenching or creaming and usually from just getting her hand touched.

Concern crossed his features, creasing his prominent forehead as he pressed his fingers softly against the pulse on the side of her neck. It was obvious the move was only meant to check if she was doing okay, but she felt the channel of her pussy begin to subtly contract from that single innocent touch.

….

Levi reached across the table and grabbed her hand snuggly.

Scarlett was shocked at how she had to squeeze her thighs together for fear of staining the cushioned chair with the juices that had now begun to creep from her pussy.

But when Dr. Leo, the oldest, starts kissing her after she has been examined and showered, she protests when he puts a stop to it yet she is horrified by the idea of someone washing her underthings:

He grabbed her arms and gently tugged them down. “We can’t do this right now,” he whispered.

A stubborn, offended look came over her features, and she lifted her hands right back to the back of his neck. “Why, of course we can. It’s okay, Leo. I know I’m young and probably inexperienced, but I’m not afraid—

…

And, here, Rhett washed your bra and panties—”

“He what!”

Ruh-roh.

“Who the hell is this Rhett, and why in the hell is he handling my underwear?” Her eyes widened in horror, and her chest heaved with anger. But all Leo could pay attention to was the way her full tits moved up and down with each breath. They were such a delicious contrast to her tiny little waist.

The book has one crazy scene after the other. From Leo kissing her, to Scarlett nearly orgasming from getting her hand held, to Leo spanking her in front of his 6 brothers later that evening because she had the audacity to overhear their conversation about her when she was in the bedroom and they were in the kitchen. (Leo had to spank her in front of his brothers just hours after they all first meet because he needed the color red on his mate to make his shift easier. Of course, he couldn’t ask her to run and get the red bookmark that caused him to assault her with his lips earlier in the day.)

But time is a just a mundane, human concept. This is the world of fiction, of bull shifter fiction, so it all makes perfect sense that a virgin girl, never exposed to any paranormal creatures, would choose to lose her ALL of her virginity in an orgy with 7 brothers she had never met before on the very same day she awoke with amnesia on the side of a cliff, injured and alone. It makes as much sense as sentences like these:

She wasn’t an unattractive girl, much to her relief, but she scrunched her nose at the pale, ashy complexion she wore as if she hadn’t eaten in a long time.

and it’s as beautiful as sentences like these:

She could already feel small waves of her juices fall from her newly-broken pussy, making a damp spot under her ass.

In all, I guess it’s a mastery of consistency of the inconsistent. I will admit I was never bored. In 26,000 words, there is so much crazy that the digital format can barely contain it. Like Scarlett’s pussy, the crazy is bursting at the seams.

Let me end with this note. The Lenox have a cattle ranch. Not a diary operation but a cattle ranch. They are bull shifters running a business that ends up with their non shifting brethen being slaughtered for food and shoes, amongst other things. Perfect synchronicity. F

Best regards,

Jane

Cattle have shitty long range vision. Return to text.

Mythbusters busted this myth in 2007 but bringing up facts is probably akin to throwing red paint in front of a bull. No one is going to notice or react. Return to text.

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