REVIEW: Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story by Christopher Moore
Dear Mr. Moore,
God I love this book. I think this is about the third or fourth time I’ve read it and it just gets better each time. OK, I could spend an hour coming up with a plot description but since some kind soul has already done so for the back cover, I’ll be lazy as hell (something I excel at) and use it.
Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching neck, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her.
Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that’s where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door … and proceeds to rock Tommy’s life — and afterlife — in ways he never imagined possible.
Jody doesn’t have a clue how to be a vampire and has to muddle her way through ancient vampire lore and practical application. Tommy just knows she’s going to break his heart but in the meantime, they have great sex during the day while he runs the night crew (collectively known as “the Animals”) who throw stock and bowl frozen Butterball turkeys at the grocery store by night. But Jody, Tommy and the Animals haven’t heard the last of the ancient vampire who created Jody just to enjoy watching her struggling to cope with her new identity. There’s going to be a showdown in San Francisco and only one vampire can win.
As mentioned in the AAR review, this book is funny enough that you have to be careful in public. People tend to look at you funny if you start laughing hysterically while reading, something I found to be true when I read it while waiting for my car’s break job to be finished. Oh well, screw ’em. I had fun. A-