Dear Ms. Lynne:
Fellow blogger Karen Scott emailed me yesterday and said I should go and buy Ben’s Wildflower. I obediently went and bought it. About 10 pages in, I emailed Ms. Scott back and asked her if I had done something to offend her because I thought she and I were pals.
Katie Crawford is a tiny woman who is working her ranch alone after the death of her parents. She’s at the end of her rope but won’t sell. Her neighbor brings by a friend, Ben Thomas, to see the ranch. Kate refuses Thomas’ offer to sell the ranch but easily capitulates when Thomas offers to buy only half. Kate is a shy woman. She had a terrible experience as a teen at the hands of the bank owner’s son and has stayed away from town ever since. Ben falls in love with Kate immediately but believes that his love can only be an emotional connection rather than a physical one because of bad experience in his youth.
Ben’s Wildflower is a bad book. I don’t know that I can say that any nicer. As with so many other bad books, it is just best to let the book do the talking.
Ben’s bad experience dates back to when he took his first girlfriend, Mary Sue. Mary Sue was a tiny woman like Kate and during intercourse he ripped her “tiny pussy”. “Since that horrible day he’d fucked only big, very, very experienced women.” I couldn’t figure out how he knew how big a woman’s vagina was. Can a man tell that by height? weight? length of index finger? Does he carry around stirrups, a speculum and a ruler?
Kate was described in the following manner: “tiny thing”, “tiny woman”, “tiny precious body “, “tiny waist and nice sized ass”, “tiny slip of woman”, “tiny hand”, “tiny spitfire.” I was pretty sure we were dealing with Thumbelina until I read she was 5′ 2″ and 110 lbs. I don’t perceive that to be so tiny as to be unable to have sex with Ben even if he has a 10 inch cock. I don’t know how big Ben was, but it sounds like he rivaled Andre the Giant. “Just one of his fingers had to be at least two or three of hers.”
The story doesn’t have much plot nor is there much consistency in characterization. Even though Kate works all day at the ranch, doesn’t go into town and is a virgn, she still takes time to pierce her navel and her clit along with buying lingerie with cutouts. Apparently she must like looking good for her collection of vibrators.
Ben’s big character arc is based on his Andre the Giant penis getting inside the little teeny tiny vagina of Kate. Lots of time spent on that. There’s a really bad (so bad that it isn’t even comical) legal subplot put in where criminals are tried without a lawyer and Kate represents herself in prosecuting said criminal. Okay, maybe it is comical.
The sex scenes are also quite amusing. “He swallowed as much of her breast as he could and bit down lightly.” That sounds, um, painful and not at all erotic. Also painful were Ben’s constant erections and the sacrifices he had to make because of them. “He’d had to give up wearing underwear. When his cock got hard, as was the daily occurrence lately, underwear was painful. Ben had no choice but to jerk off every morning and night.” Oh, dear Ben. I guess they don’t make boxers for those Gentle Giants.
But he probably didn’t know any better spending all his time having sex with “only big, very, very experienced women” or “Well stretched and experienced.” I couldn’t really tell whether you were trying to tell me something about Ben’s past sexual history. It seems like there was a pattern but I just can’t tell because you weren’t obvious enough about it.
There was also alot of throwaway sex scenes in the book where Ben’s former Navy Seal squadron apparently are all gay or bisexual and like to get it on just at random times in the book with no apparent care who is watching; whether it is out to dinner, at the breakfast table, in a car. In one scene Ben is on the phone to someone and two of the guys are going at it right behind him.
And because all good erotica books have anal sex in it, Ben’s Wildflower ends on that note. I think it’s a bit ironic that the cover model looks like someone from the Miss Bodybuilder pageant. F.