Dear Ms. Smith:
Unfortunately, your book is what inspired my post about the real deal paranormal authors and the posers. Your story features a hero vampire who believes his immortality is a curse and a heroine with cancer who would do anything to live. That’s it. That’s the entire story. There is one thread of a plot that featured some action which was discussed briefly and comes to a head in the MIDDLE of the book, but the rest is about whether the vampire would acquiesce Prudence’s desire to live.
The world building is virtually non existent. We know only that the vampire was greated by drinking of the blood grail. That he and his five comrades all drank from the Grail (they had a whole Three Musketeers bond going – one for all and all for one). What we don’t know is whether other vampires exist. How many people know of vampires. What special powers they have. How long can they go without drinking blood. Whether animal blood affects them differently. Who governs them or whether they are simply lawless? You give your vampire the ability to fly but don’t explain why or how that works. How far can he fly? Does he get tired?
Chapel was nothing more than a regency hero dressed up with fangs. He wasn’t a real vampire (he only eats once during the entire book less a couple of vials of blood). He was just a boring man who was filled with self pity.
Even though everyone called him on his self pity, he continued his act until the very last chapter. Enough is enough. I didn’t even understand where his self pity came from. The keystone point of his character was recounted by Chapel in a completely different manner than how it is discussed later on. I had to go back and read his original recollection a couple of times because of its erroneous characterization later in the story.
What furthered bothered me was the constant use of characters as setup for sequels. Brotherhood of the Blood? Puhleeze. JR Ward called and wants her series title back. Finally, you insert a public sex scene in the book for no other reason than for the tiltillation factor. Pru never evinces any desire for public sex or any sexual fantasy. How would she even know that is something that would excite her? This desire for public sex just pops up out of the blue on her list of “things to do before she dies.” What really killed the story for me, though, was the complete lack of action. The entire second half of the story is about wish fulfillment for Pru. It got to the point that I was hoping that Pru would die and we would just be done with the story. C-.