That seems to be a norm in UK publishing these days. UK and US comma rules are really different.

There’s also a grammar niggle I’m surprised no one else picked up on:
When addressing a person in speech, there should always be a comma (or equivalent punctuation) on either side of the name or noun being thrown at them. It’s the different between “Let’s eat, Sam!” and “Let’s eat Sam!” You’re missing it on “Hello Simon” and “Hello Darling”.

She sounds like she’s been sitting around waiting for Prince Charming. And lo, and behold, Simon calls.

The writing was good enough and the surprise of the ending, that if I had the book, I’d read on. The doormattiness was enough that if I were choosing a book in the bookstore, I’d probably pass on this after the first page.

I freely admit to a strong bias towards strong and active heroines and against door mats.

- edited to add: please do not doormat this heroine

I liked the writing, I’m intrigued about the characters, I’d buy it based on this first page, but I do want excellent reasons why she’s not moved forward in those 15 years. Or maybe she has, it’s just those outer aspects of her life (house, job, etc) that have not, but I am a bit worried by the “still waiting for Prince Charming”. If she’s just waiting to be swept off her feet by the Love of her Life, that’s fine, but if she’s waiting for him to solve all her problems for her (aforementioned house, job, etc), then it’s not.

There’s fabulous potential. I love the author’s wealth of detail in establishing scene/setting and conveying emotions. Writing quality is very good, but the opening paragraphs feature too much passive voice. Passive voice slows the read and distances the reader from the action.

There’s a bit too much cliche (“out of the blue,” “Prince Charming.”) I believe an author of your competency can find more originality. Be sparing with cliche; sometimes it’s useful, but it’s been said/done a million times (that’s why it’s cliche.)

At this point, so far, I don’t much care for Emily. Yes, I recognize she’s startled/excited to hear from Simon and that Simon was/is important to her. I know what kind of house she inhabits. I “get” that she’s probably a nice, reliable (predictable?) person.

What I dislike is the “doormat” vibe I’m smelling from your prose regarding Emily. It’s clear she sees herself in a negative light. In fifteen years since she last saw Simon, no meaningful changes — positive or negative — appear to have taken place in her life. That SCARES me. I’ve been divorced less than five years and I’ve managed to drop a few dress sizes, go back to school, and change careers. Life’s good, great in fact.

Simon’s comments and attitude come off as condescending IMO, as though Emily was a “disposable girlfriend” he hasn’t bothered communicating with in 15 years because he recognized he could “pick her back up and catch up” any ol’ time he felt like it.

His comment “Is something wrong?” qualifies as “jerkdom” UNLESS Simon is unaware of Emily’s feelings for him. Aren’t most people surprised and/or taken aback when they hear from someone from their past? Simon seems to be acting like the past 15 years never happened and he was always planning to take her out to dinner and just now got around to it.

I’d keep reading at this point to see if other circumstances impact my view of these characters, but so far, I don’t much like either of them.

@Anonymous author: click on the lower corner right and then type your reply to the second post. I’m not sure if there is a limit because I have posted (and read!) quite long replies.

“Still in the same tiny village, in the same tiny cottage that her landlord had never bothered to have modernised. Still doing the same dead end job and still waiting for Prince Charming to sweep her off her feet.”

Straight away I have this picture in my mind of her life – ho-hum, normal, safe – and of her mindset. I also understand what sort of a story this will be, which is good at the beginning of the book when readers are searching for a toehold and some markers to tell them where this particular ship will be sailing.

I would keep reading, definitely. Good luck!

I was also intrigued/interested, and this isn’t my regular cuppa, so I certainly hope you’ll return and let us know when we can buy this one; well done.

We’ll see what they think!

Yes, good point on that first Standish. And yes, she’s 35. Like me. :)

@MS Jones

Thank you!

Can I quibble with one little thing? The “Firstname Lastname did something” opening is a giant old cliched bore. You don’t need to say that Emily’s last name is Standish, because Simon does it himself a couple of lines later. Take the first “Standish” out–it’s not earning its keep.

And kudos to you for writing a contemporary romance with a heroine who, one presumes from the timeline, is well over 30. We need more of these!

I’d say don’t change a thing except that advice from Laura K., as one of the mistressfullest romance writers of all time, is not to be ignored.

- edited to add: please do not doormat this heroine.