As for this:

Have you ever met a charming, well educated, nice man with a sense of humor who'd be so completely shy and insecure? Who'd give so much power to a woman? Who'd be ready to wait for her for ever and ever?

Um yes, I have. He’s in the next room. Quite a few nice, charming, well-educated, witty men who are introverts, or are not particularly at ease with women, have self-esteem issues. Especially if they think that the alpha hero type is what women really go for, and that a woman would somehow be settling for less if she chose the nice guy. That’s one reason I love to see heroes who aren’t the alpha stereotype, because I love an intellectual man — on paper and in real life.

I thank my lucky stars every day that his feelings for me endured so many years and so many obstacles.

I liked the characters, most of whom were genuinely likeable. I like the slow relationship development between Mac and Carter; I like that they seem to like one another as much, if not more than, how attracted they are to each other.

I like the friendships between the four women. (It might be the Deadpool in my brain talking, but there was something about them that reminded me a little of The Golden Girls.) I like each individual woman, as well, and how they were different from one another without being too extreme, like they only had one defining trait. I also like how balanced their views on marriage felt, somewhere between complete cynic and hopeless romantic, like most people, I suspect.

I did not think Mac’s relationship with her mother was unrealistic — my impression was that it had been building for some time and this – the $3000, the car + Mac’s friends being supportive of her, while discouraging her from enabling her mother – was the breaking point, finally, in part because the requests were getting so outlandish. I like that even after Mac learned to say no to her mother (projecting here, but I find it very difficult to say no to my own mother, though she’s not as emotionally manipulative as Linda), their relationship remained strained.

I like Carter, too, in all his adorable awkward geekiness. I’m not so enamoured with Bob, because of how he talks about women and the terrible advice he gives Carter, which is amusing, but buys into certain stereotypes (I’m not saying *Bob* is a stereotype, but his views men, women and relationships are that way). The romance industry – and the world – needs more people (heroes) like Carter (and Mac’s friends, who I believe also pass the Bechdel test! awesome!). It would be great if his version of strong and being truly a nice guy (not a Nice Guyâ„¢) were seen as an ideal.

I'm still interested in why you think that men can't be shy but charming and smart and funny; and why women can't be commitment phoebic or have intimacy issues. I'd also be more interested in your philosophy about romance versus real life. It seems to me, based on your comments (few though they are), that you want your romance to be just like real life (yeah, because everyone is a gorgeous, thin, white chick and all guys are hunky alpha males, and you always, always, come together!).

The answer is simple: I’ve never seen such people, nor heard of anyone like that – ever. I see a lot of women around me who have a very different problem which is always one and the same – they can’t find a partner in life, a person willing to be around, to love and cherish, to protect and support and so on. And they’re not ugly or stupid or anything. They’re just lonely.
I understand that a lot of books had already been written on how an-unhappy-but-good-and-nice-and-pretty-cinderella-finds-a-prince. And maybe Nora Roberts just got tired writing happy-end stories about damsels in this exact kind of distress. Still, most of the unhappy people – women – I see around are lonely. And really, really want to find a partner for life. Hell, what I myself wouldn’t give for it…

You also said you liked the book but found it totally unrealistic. I found the characters to be fairly realistic (Nora, imo, has a pretty amazing talent for writing real people), and the situations to be pretty life-like. So, I'm interested in how you found the book unrealistic.

The answer is the same… I just can’t imagine this kind of situations. When a woman would literally bolt from a warm and, needless to say, very pleasant bed because she got frightened that everything was too good… The mother too – she’s just too much, it seems to me…

By the way, it’s offtopic, but I only found out that such business really exist after I read this novel. I mean, wedding agencies like that, covering every detail of a “perfect wedding”. Tell me, what kind of people throw such weddings – I mean, is it for the middle-class, or upper-middle-class, or really, really wealthy people? I don’t think many people use such services here in Russia… but the demand seems to be increasing. Maybe someday it’ll be nothing out of the ordinary, but as yet, I think, only a few of the families can afford it.

You may not have meant it that way, but that's how it came off to me.

It’s that whole lack of intonation deal that causes so many problems in the intertubes. ;)

I’m still interested in why you think that men can’t be shy but charming and smart and funny; and why women can’t be commitment phoebic or have intimacy issues. I’d also be more interested in your philosophy about romance versus real life. It seems to me, based on your comments (few though they are), that you want your romance to be just like real life (yeah, because everyone is a gorgeous, thin, white chick and all guys are hunky alpha males, and you always, always, come together!).

You also said you liked the book but found it totally unrealistic. I found the characters to be fairly realistic (Nora, imo, has a pretty amazing talent for writing real people), and the situations to be pretty life-like. So, I’m interested in how you found the book unrealistic.

Sorry about the “grow up” phrase, though. It seems to be offensive, judging from how people reacted. Wasn’t meant that way, though. I might miss some finer points of English, because I’m Russian. :-)

This novel is about a relationship that's completely reversed, and that's why it's completely improbable. I can well understand why we women would want it to be possible. But do grow up, people. It's not.

Wow, that’s harsh. I think you may need to find another genre my friend, because, hey that’s romance.

Now, excuse me while I try to go and grow up somewhere. Hmmm…

with all due respect, nice men and commitment phoebic women are not fiction. Men, like women, often have visions of themselves that differ from how other people see them. So, to have a guy who is

charming, well educated, nice man with a sense of humor who'd be so completely shy and insecure

, is neither unheard of, nor out of the ordinary. Just because other people might see you (general you, not Marina) as [fill in positive comment here], doesn’t mean that one sees oneself that way. Take beauty, for example. Many many people are good looking, but a lot of people don’t see themselves that way, male or female.

My point is,

This novel is about a relationship that's completely reversed, and that's why it's completely improbable

is quite probable, imo.

However, my opinion is based on knowing a lot of different people that show quite a few personality characteristics that have nothing to do with gender. Being female doesn’t make one automatically commitment oriented, nor does being male automatically make one secure and gregarious.

Also this:

But do grow up, people

is a bit patronizing. You may not have meant it that way, but that’s how it came off to me. I liked the book (see comment above thread) and that doesn’t make me a child. Clearly the book didn’t work for you, not every book works for every reader, but there’s no need to tell people to “grow up”.

Have you ever met a charming, well educated, nice man with a sense of humor who’d be so completely shy and insecure? Who’d give so much power to a woman? Who’d be ready to wait for her for ever and ever? Well call me a loser, but I haven’t. Have you ever met a woman who’d be afraid to marry a man she actually was in love with? Well call me a loser, but…

This novel is about a relationship that’s completely reversed, and that’s why it’s completely improbable. I can well understand why we women would want it to be possible. But do grow up, people. It’s not.

You just opened the Nora Roberts suggetion box! LOL.

My first ever NR was a contemp called Northern Lights-and it’s still my all time favorite. While there are a bazillion NR books I could recommend, I’m just going to do the one. Hopefully, others will pipe up with their favs.

As for Mac’s mother-I totally got that part of the story. Not because my mom is like that, but because I have friends who have really really manipulative parents, and that shit is REALLY hard to overcome. Often it IS so much easier to give them what they want so they go away. So, Mac’s behavior towards her mother read true, for me. I, too, loved the geeky Carter. Usually it’s the heronie is clumsy (as part of her quirky personality), but Nora did a really good job showing us a smart clumsy guy. Totally adorable.

I’ll still be buying the rest (though I have to say: TOTALLY looking forward to Black HIlls!!!) Seriously, wildlife biologist? South Dakota? I’m sooooo hoping for some ferrets.

I loved how good a Beta male can be just as strong as an Alpha male. I loved it when Mac was detailing how good Carter made her feel – like he only has eyes for her, she was his world.

All 3 girls – Laural, Parker, and Emma- sighed. I did it too with them. =)

And that’s why Nora Roberts is amazing. She makes me feel the emotion and understand it. I have a horrible relationship with my mom. And I felt how cornered Mac was.

I thought Carter was a nice change of pace from the usual alpha hero. His klutziness was somehow endearing when matched with his earnestness. I also liked Mac and the rest of the women.

NR ususally has three h/h, so it’s easy to see which characters will be matched together. Since there are four women here, however, it’s more of a guessing game to see who gets Jack and Del. Another nice change of pace.

Last, I also liked the cover design that resembles an invitation and the crinkle cut pages. It went well with the whole wedding theme.

1. The descriptive writing. Could you not totally picture the photo’s she describes? How amazing that a clear photo would pop in my head.

2. The fact that I would find myself smiling while reading the book. Not just the lol moments (and there were many) but the absolute sweetness in the story.

It was a beautiful book by design and content.
Thank you Nora!