I think the standout so far of Query Saturday was that paranormal with the crime scene photographer. No info dump. Very much in the moment. It took a bit to even realize the main character was female. That first page had some wobbles, but it very much stood out, so much so that I still remember it. So I think a first page can stand on its own. I like the idea of the one-sentence set up, and I do think this entry needs a “byline” because I couldn’t tell when it was.

I never buy a book on blurb alone. Blurbs are usually written by the marketing department to sell the story, and sometimes they’re not incredibly accurate. Blurbs only make me open the book to see how the writing is. The writing makes me buy the book. And that’s why this First Page Saturday is important.

That said, I don’t necessarily want a full blurb with these first pages. I think blurbs can color my reaction a little too much set me up for something before I’ve even begun reading. And if the goal is for “cold eyes” as this author calls them, then a blurb wouldn’t work for me. I would like a time, setting, type of romance description.

Mostly I’d like the exerpts to be a little longer which I think would alleviate the need for a blurb. Two pages as Jane suggests? I don’t know. But a little more would be welcome. Of course that just makes it harder when I like what’s been posted (makes me want the book right now!).

But that’s not how agents and editors read books. The blurb isn’t part of the book, it’s part of the packaging. The first page has to engage the reader–that doesn’t mean that it has to be a “contrivance” or anything of the sort.

And if you give a book a chance for 50 pages, I applaud your patience. The conventional wisdom in publishing is that you have to connect with the reader on the first page, and that’s how agents and editors read manuscripts.

The conventional wisdom may well be wrong, of course. But at the moment, it’s something that writers would do well to keep in mind.

And there are a lot of ways to engage readers on the first page. You don’t have to do all your characterization or worldbuilding or whatever. You don’t have to start with a gripping action scene.

But you do have to establish a compelling voice that draws readers into the story.

The first page give a very good view of the author’s writing style and voice. It’s all that’s needed to know if we are or aren’t intrigued by the characters introduced. In this case, it’s enough for us to know there is some very nice writing lost in TMIland.

I’m not saying having a scenerio review or blurb is a bad thing, I simply see it as something separate. The first should be able to stand on it’s own.

I also understand what you’re saying about word counts, however I don’t see it as a priority until the book is getting down to the final draft. Even then it comes down to the words being justified. I’m not saying word count guidelines should be thrown out the window, just that they shouldn’t be considered a firm cap… and as Robin said, it’s easier to cut than add.

You want a first page that keeps the reader reading.

I’m sorry, but my attention span’s not that short. I buy on the blurb, period. I don’t look at the first page when buying because I don’t expect it to hook me; I want to be drawn in gradually, which ties into…

But I definitely think that we're getting more underdeveloped books these days, and I am a bit concerned about that.

There is no time for development, a gradual blossoming of story like a lotus flower, when you must must must at all costs and forever and ever amen have a first page that’s a contrivance to get my attention. My attention was got with the blurb; that’s why I’m reading it.

I also think it does a disservice to readers by implication: That the reader isn’t tolerant enough to read for 25 pages or whatever to find out if they want to continue. It takes me about 50 pages to figure out if I want to buy the lie I’m being told and the abrupt beginnings only annoy me into giving it less of a chance.

I don’t want to be jarred with that trick all the time (which is a must for the shorter books and to me, 75k is a SHORT book).

Draw me in, seduce me, caress my mind.

Yes.

You want a first page that keeps the reader reading.

The first page doesn’t need to contain all of the information in the book, of course. But it needs to be able to engage the reader on its own, without any of the information that’s in a blurb or jacket copy or the rest of the manuscript.

Of course not. The fact is, we're not getting the whole MS which presumably stands on its own, so why not have something to provide a bit of essential information?

It might be helpful in evaluating how well the first page sets up the rest of the book.

But it wouldn’t be necessary to evaluating how well the first page works on its own.

I suppose it depends on which goal is primary in this exercise.

As a reader, I’m not sure which is more disappointing to me, a bloated book or an underdeveloped one. But I definitely think that we’re getting more underdeveloped books these days, and I am a bit concerned about that.

Oh, and I second the idea that it's much easier to cut than to add. It's like wrapping a present: if you have too much paper, you can cut without anyone knowing the excess was there, but if you have too little, everyone can see the patch.

This is true. I did not mean to imply I thought the author should censor themself when writing. On the contrary: i know I throw in everything I think needs to be there in the first draft, elaborate even more in the second. The missing step might be that once I get the story structure in shape I go back in for some hardcore hack and slash to tighten my book into a literary hard-body.

I’m not advocating self-censoring or muse muffling to manage word count. I am advocating a hard editorial eye and ruthless red pen to keep stories that don’t need to be overly long in check.

My fault for not making that distinction clear enough. Sorry.

Can I just say that I miss the longer, epic-scope Romances?

Heartfelt ditto.

Me three.

But in writer mode, you need to create a manuscript that stands on its own.

Well, yeah, but are you expected to write a first page that stands on its own, removed from the context of the rest of the book? Of course not. The fact is, we’re not getting the whole MS which presumably stands on its own, so why not have something to provide a bit of essential information?

Can I just say that I miss the longer, epic-scope Romances? Not that I'm in favor of long books just for the sake of length. But I think the trend in the opposite direction has hurt the genre, especially by forcing even more shorthand than ever.

Heartfelt ditto.

Oh, and I second the idea that it’s much easier to cut than to add. It’s like wrapping a present: if you have too much paper, you can cut without anyone knowing the excess was there, but if you have too little, everyone can see the patch.

Maybe one of the Janes should do a poll?

Yes, I’d like a little more info or a longer excerpt before making my call, but I’m not sure including blurbs is the way to do it.

A blurb isn’t quite as detailed as the synopsis that would be included if the writer was pitching the book in editors–it’s more a grab-me-quick sort of thing and it doesn’t always do much to set the stage. Wouldn’t recommend including a synopsis, either.

Maybe something along the lines….

Book A is a paranormal romance set in an alternate reality featuring XXXX, the hero and XXXX,the heroine who must first learn to work together before they can save the world.

That’s not written blurb style. But it tells me who the main characters are…there was one a few weeks ago where the heroine was with a guy I’m thinking wasn’t the hero, but it wasn’t made clear in the short excerpt we had to read.

Those kind of details aren’t necessarily going to always be apparent in the very first page-a lot of heroes/heroines don’t have their first meeting until a few pages in.

Some sort of set up info might make it easier. I wouldn’t advise anything more than offering a short set up, though. Too often, that complicates things.

There are readers who will never see a blurb: some libraries, for instance, bind paperbacks in a way that doesn’t preserve the cover at all. Very few recordings of books for the visually-impaired begin with a reading of the cover or jacket copy.

Yes, like everyone else, when I’m in reader mode and picking out books in the store or library, I look at the blurb and the jacket or cover copy.

But in writer mode, you need to create a manuscript that stands on its own.

The first page or pages, should introduce the reader to the character and story without a blurb to set the stage.

How many books do you decide to read based on nothing but the first page?

I would be in favor of trying a short blurb with these because the idea is whether readers on DA would like to read the book. Also, as far as selling it to agents and editors, even then you get a cover letter and pages (in many cases only the cover letter actually). I think more context wouldn’t hurt readers’ critiques of these pages. Even setting and time would be a help.

http://theswivet.blogspot.com/2008/03/on-word-counts-and-novel-length.html

Straight from the agent Colleen Lindsay of Fine Print Lit’s keyboard: “…sometimes a writer just writes a long book because they aren’t yet a very good writer. Good writers learn how to pare a manuscript down to its most essential elements, carving away the word count fat that marks so many beginning writers…[and] for a debut novelist who is trying to catch the eye of an agent or editor for the first time? Err on the side of caution with your word count.”

~Moth

The first page or pages, should introduce the reader to the character and story without a blurb to set the stage. I would be in favor of giving a time and location (London, 1811; Present Day Chicago; or Planet X, 3200), as many books which put the reader in an alternate time do, but giving us background that wouldn't be available to a reader wouldn't do justice to the author in the long run.

Why? The first page isn’t much space to give much more than a sense of voice and character and maybe setting. I’ve been leafing through some of the books I’ve been reading lately (and they’re almost without exception books that people here and at SB have raved about), and there’s often very little hint of what the conflict or plot will be about, or what the unique ins and outs of the setting are, if any. (I’m thinking especially of Bujold’s books). This particular first page is being criticized for being an info dump. I think it’s partly because the author is trying to show some of the distinguishing characteristics of her story and characters, which wouldn’t all come out on the first page normally. She could leave all the political stuff out and it would make the writing tighter, but then it would sound like a million other stories. If she could write an intro blurb to say something about that stuff, we could take it as a given that this information would be revealed as we read on. And as far as not doing justice to the author, how many people jump into a book cold, unaffected and uninformed by query letter/cover image/blurb? If people will forgive an actual example of what I’m talking about, here’s the first bit of Shards of Honor, almost the same number of words as what was provided of Any Price: (The formatting got lost in the copying, but try to ignore that)

A sea of mist drifted through the cloud forest, soft, grey, luminescent. On the high ridges the fog showed brighter as the morning sun began to warm and lift the moisture, although in the ravine a cool, soundless dimness still counterfeited a pre-dawn twilight. Commander Cordelia Naismith glanced at her team botanist and adjusted the straps of her biological collecting equipment a bit more comfortably before continuing her breathless climb. She pushed a long tendril of fog-dampened copper hair out of her eyes, clawing it impatiently toward the clasp at the nape of her neck. Their next survey area would definitely be at a lower altitude. The gravity of this planet was slightly lower than on their home world of Beta Colony, but it did not quite make up for the physiological strain imposed by the thin mountain air. Denser vegetation marked the upper boundary of the forest patch. Following the splashy path of the ravine’s brook, they bent and scrambled through the living tunnel, then broke into the open air. A morning breeze was ribboning away the last of the fog on the golden uplands. They stretched endlessly, rise after rise, culminating at last in the great grey shoulders of a central peak crowned by glittering ice. This world’s sun shone in the deep turquoise sky giving an overwhelming richness to the golden grasses, tiny flowers, and tussocks dotted everywhere of a silvery plant like powdered lace. Enveloped by the silence, the two explorers gazed entranced at the mountain above. The botanist, Ensign Dubauer, grinned over his shoulder at Cordelia and fell to his knees beside one of the silvery tussocks. She strolled to the nearest rise for a look at the panorama behind them. The patchy forest grew denser down the gentle slopes. Five hundred meters below, banks of clouds stretched like a white sea to the horizon. Far to the west, their mountain’s smaller sister just broke through the updraft-curdled tops. Cordelia was just wishing herself on the plains below, to see the novelty of of water falling from the sky, when she was jarred from her reverie. “Now what the devil can Rosemont be burning to make a stink like that?” she murmured. An oily black column of smoke was rising beyond the next spur of the mountain slope, to be smudged, thinned, and dissipated by the upper breezes. It certainly appeared to be coming from the location of their base camp. She studied it intently. A distant whining, rising to a howl, pierced the silence. Their planetary shuttle burst from behind the ridge and boomed across the sky above them, leaving a sparkling trail of ionized gases. “What a take-off!” cried Dubauer, his attention wrenched skyward. Cordelia keyed her short-range wrist communicator and spoke into it. “Naismith to Base One. Come in, please.” A small, empty hiss was her sole reply. She called again, twice, with the same result. Ensign Dubauer hovered anxiously at her elbow. “Try yours,” she said. But his luck was no better. “Pack up your stuff, we’re going back to camp,” she ordered. “Double time.” They struggled toward the next ridge at a gasping jog, and plunged back into the forest. The spindly bearded trees at this altitude were often fallen, tangled. They had seemed artistically wild on the way up; on the way down they made a menacing obstacle course. Cordelia’s mind ratcheted over a dozen possible disasters, each more bizarre than the last.

All you get is the sense that it’s a science fiction story, with destruction about to be discovered, and some details about one of the main characters. Absolutely nothing about the main conflict or how the two main characters will meet and interact is here.
With a blurb (such as the one from Fictionwise), you get the bigger picture, and, in my opinion, are in a better position to say whether it’s going to interest you.

First novel in the popular series that begins with the inauspicious meeting of Betan astrocartographer Cordelia Naismith and Barrayaran Captain Aral Vorkosigan during a treacherous war. As captor and prisoner on an abandoned outpost planet, the honorable captain and the resolute scientist must rely on each others’ trust to survive a trek across dangerous terrain, thus sparking a relationship that shares the struggles of culture and politics between their worlds.

My feeling is that blurbs are often not written by the author, so to judge them together is misleading.

My thought was that the first page would be judged in light of the information provided by the blurb, not to judge the quality of the blurb. However, if there seemed to be serious potential plot problems or unoriginality (or the reverse) outlined in the blurb, that might be worth noting.