As for reading recommends for a male? Try Elizabeth Lowell’s Donovan series, and the books that follow. She is wonderful. Her medievels are to die for also.

Re the genre, I don’t and don’t pretend to know to what to ascribe this entrenched attitude to. Perhaps it is in a large part influenced by a lingering disrespect towards the recreational interests of women and the placement of the home and hearth as secondary to the importance of the man’s work place. This is a lingering cultural meme.

Individually, we all place home and hearth first and go out and work to sustain it. Culturally though, I think that there are still vestiges of that separation of home and work that automatically put “mens’” work outside the home over the “woman’s” work at home.

-Lori Foster’s “Say No To Joe”

-Any of Suzanne Brockmann’s SEAL novels. She has 2 series. The Troubleshooters series is best. They usually show the man’s point-of-view. Lots of action/suspense. The romance elements are realistic and within a man’s comfort zone, I’d think.

I think Kage Baker’s cyborg “Company” series would work as well. There is a strong romantic element running through the series, but nothing that would bother a man. I don’t remember any real sex scenes. (Sci Fi)

Also, what about Lois McMaster Bujold’s Vorkosigan series? (also Sci Fi)

Long stretch here, but what about some of Georgette Heyer’s novels with a very strong male protagonist? Regency Buck or These Old Shades come to mind.

Linda Howard’s 2-3 most recently published might work. Strong men, strong women, lots of action.

Margaret Maron’s Judge Deborah Knott series has a great romance across several novels. I love the realistic relationship between Deborah and her husband. (Mystery) Also, what about Dorothy Sayers “Lord Peter” books?

I also agree that Nora Roberts, Susan Elizabeth Phillips and maybe Jenny Cruisie (try Bet Me first) might work.

Not exactly romance, but too good to miss is Naomi Novik’s Temeraire series.

Not sure how common it was for a courtesan to dictate the terms of an arrangement. Didn't the men usually decide when to visit, and when to break off the relationship?

For actual “courtesans” it was not at all uncommon for the woman to dictate all sorts of limits and rules (and to have them spelled out in a signed, legal agreement!). You can find all kinds of tidbits and details about the lives of real highfliers in period journals, letters, autobiographies (aka tell-alls), etc.

Not sure how common it was for a courtesan to dictate the terms of an arrangement. Didn't the men usually decide when to visit, and when to break off the relationship?

I expect a courtesan would not have been living three pennies from the gutter, and would have therefore had more financial freedom to break off a relationship, or to be more discriminating with the men she entertained.

I think being a courtesan is (was?) a very different matter, in terms of social stature, lifestyle (”courtesan” implies a higher standard of living) and control over one's own destiny.

Not sure how common it was for a courtesan to dictate the terms of an arrangement. Didn’t the men usually decide when to visit, and when to break off the relationship?

I have no moral problem with prostitution, but agree that the reality of being a whore shouldn’t be glamorized (as in Pretty Woman). I think being a courtesan is (was?) a very different matter, in terms of social stature, lifestyle (“courtesan” implies a higher standard of living) and control over one’s own destiny. So I’m all for courtesan heroines, “lax morals” be damned.

Ned, who is a big lover of Fantasy (high fantasy like George RR Martin, Terry Goodkind, and so forth), agreed to read one romance in exchange for me reading a book of his. I gave him Claudia Dain's The Holding, an older romance set in medieval England. He liked it quite a bit

Jane, I’m dying to know — what book of his did you read? And did you like it?

Dana, I love George R. R. Martin. (When, oh when, will DANCES WITH DRAGONS come out???)

I predict that the release date is about to get pushed back.

I'm ready to storm the guy's house and put his head on a pike if he doesn't hurry up.

Poor George! It must be tough to have SO many fans who are SO mad at you because of how much they love your books. I know he wants the book done as much as we do; we just have to remember that we should want it to be as good as he can make it. (I think it helped when the Giants won the Superbowl, though.)

Yes, he left for the Spain & Portugal tour last weekend, so no work on the book for a while. I don’t think there’s any way we’ll see it before 2009. As soon as he posts the promised “manuscript finished” update, I will start my re-reading of the whole series.

[/offtopic response]

Thus the backlash from some women, who understand that linkage and will stand up and say, “of *course* I’m not the type of woman who would read that junk. I’m smart and capable.” So we are somehow supposed to be ashamed of liking the genre, because only a certain type of woman would read it. The publishing industry aids and abets the image with stupid titles and cringe-worthy covers that only reinforce the chauvinistic stereotype.

I think sites like this one and SMTB really are helping shine a spotlight on the real issues and show that those women who read romance can indeed be brilliant, capable, and independent.

Jackie, I said he was reading them, I didn’t say he was putting into practice what he was reading. ;-) K

Dana, I love George R. R. Martin. (When, oh when, will DANCES WITH DRAGONS come out???)

I predict that the release date is about to get pushed back.

I’m ready to storm the guy’s house and put his head on a pike if he doesn’t hurry up.

End of September. No, I don't have the date memorized or anything. *coughs*

***SQUEE***

Jia, you just made me a very happy camper.

I cannot convince him that it is ok to come out of the closet on reading romances…

Heh. Hey, at least he’s reading them…

Maybe it looks worse, if it's a romance author, but it's not like we corner the market on colorful personalities. I'm sticking with ‘Don't wear your negligee to parent teacher conferences'.

I think the difficult part about this is not that you don’t have the right to chose to present yourself how you want to, but that ‘mainstream’ media picks on those examples to justify the “it’s all about sex/bodice-ripper/other stereotypes about romance” commentary. It’s another way to talk about romance, romance novels, and romance authors in dismissive ways…

I love George R. R. Martin. (When, oh when, will DANCES WITH DRAGONS come out???)

End of September. No, I don't have the date memorized or anything. *coughs*

Well, in his updates and not-a-blog blog, GRRM said he hoped to have the book finished before his trips to Spain/Portugal at the end of June, and if that happened, then it would be out in the fall. He also said he’d post as soon as it’s done. He has not said that it is done, and end of June is upon us. I predict that the release date is about to get pushed back.

Sorry for once again sidetracking, and I return you to your regularly scheduled discussion.

I love George R. R. Martin. (When, oh when, will DANCES WITH DRAGONS come out???)

End of September. No, I don’t have the date memorized or anything. *coughs*