Comments on: REVIEW: Love the One You’re With by Emily Giffin

By: gaylie

gaylie — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 04:23:57 +0000

I’ve read this book and came into realization that even though I’m not yet a married person, I somehow can relate to the situation Ellen’s into. Andy is my love for the Lord and others and Leo is my love for myself. With Andy, the best word to describe it-beyond safe and good-is ‘right’. With Leo however, ‘guilty-pleasure’ is I think what it is. It’s like an open cookie jar that when you see it, it almost borders under the need category to taste it more than just want and the worse part is it comes when you least expect it or when you can’t have it at all. I know how hard it is for Ellen to choose what’s right-and true- over what feels right-and intensely good and the feeling of wanting to be suspended between both worlds -between both love. But as the title commands, ‘love the one you’re with’ for Ellen and for me as well because it’s the true love that lasts.
PS I admire the character Emily built on Ellen. She’s weak at some point and but came out strong in the end.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 10:21:27 +0000

I’ve read 3 of Emily Giffin’s books in the last 3 weeks, and am now just over half way into “Love the one you’re with”. I must say I am not enjoying it as much as “Something borrowed”, “Something blue” and “Baby proof”. All her book do wrap up way to fast in neat little packages. But are great to read if you like book that always end the way you expect them to. All so far have the feeling at the end as if she was running out of time or pages to fit them in. Apart from that they are wonderful book and hope this one improves as I keep reading hoping that it will turn around and be just as enjoyable as the others. I so far have been sad to come to the end of a book that I’ve enjoyed so much and have rushed out to buy her next book.

By: Ralph W. E.

Ralph W. E. — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 23:18:40 +0000

Richie Kock,

Your critique would land more if you actually spelled Jane AustEn correctly. Sadly, you come across as illiterate.

Stick to reading cereal boxes.

By: Pressure Sensors

Pressure Sensors — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 16:58:09 +0000

the best beauty queens are coming from south america, i really love latinas .*~

By: Book Review: Love the One You’re With « ReviewsbyLola's Blog

Book Review: Love the One You’re With « ReviewsbyLola's Blog — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 00:42:11 +0000

[...] Dear Author (this review includes a hidden spoiler at the end for those of you who want to know who Ellen ended up with) [...]

By: Kallyn

Kallyn — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:57:07 +0000

The book is called Love the One You’re With, its clear from that who she ends up with. LOVED THIS BOOK WITH ALL MY HEART!

By: Andy-Clone

Andy-Clone — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 20:12:20 +0000

Like the Jeff who commented earlier, I am my wife’s Andy. My wife finally got over her Leo over a decade ago. But only after the old feelings swept over her during a clandestine lunch and she ended up in a hotel room with him. I have not read Griffin’s novel. Not sure it would be helpful to me or my wife. But I have read enough about the plot to know that Ellen’s dilemna is not unrealistic. Fortunately, my wife never really considered running off with her ex-boyfriend. But he was her first love and she had had some strong unresolved fealings after he dumped her at a tender age. So when he claimed to still love her and insisted that he had become a better person, she thought she would give friendship a try. Bad mistake. Her epiphany finally came in that hotel room. She did not like who she became when she was with him. And he was really still the same (emotionally abusive) person who made her life miserable in high school. So for those who might think the Ellens of the world are facing a choice between safe (but boring) love and passionate love, please think again. The choice is really between self destruction in an addictive but toxic relationship, and the kind of deep mature love that makes you feel good about yourself AND the person you love.

By: richie kock

richie kock — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 17:26:45 +0000

Love the one you’re with is a dragging nag!
I also would be a best selling author if only I had the patience to write such a nonsensical and empty piece of soup du jour!

This book shows once again that you may throw anything on the female shelf which has to do with romantic ‘I still love my ex’ novels and they would go for it everytime…

Jane Austin

By: Janine

Janine — Fri, 08 May 2009 05:42:34 +0000

@Julie: I think it is a testament to the realism of Giffin's writing that readers like you are able to relate to her stories.

By: Julie

Julie — Thu, 07 May 2009 21:22:40 +0000

The first 331 pages could have been taken from my diary – if I kept one.
I’m “Ellie”- not wealthy but married for 11 years to a fabulous dad and terrible husband. I think an “Andy” like husband would make it easier for me to make the choice Ellie did. My “Leo” is still in the background and I’m thankful that the physical distance separates us. I loved the “Can you be friends with an ex” debates in the story. and would add “If you really truly love someone does it ever really go away?” I am searching for many answers and reading up a storm on why we make decisons we do. I know “my story” will be at least 600 pages long because the choices I have to make (or not make) are not as easy as they were in the last 10 pages for Ellie.
Until you are in a turblent situation in your marriage, you cannot understand or appreciate how hard decisions are for people.

By: Janine

Janine — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 06:41:25 +0000

Ami -- I like Something Blue best of all of Giffin's books but my second favorite is Something Borrowed, so I do recommend trying it. It is funny, I also know someone who started out with Something Borrowed and won't read Something Blue because she thought Darcy was a real piece of work in the first book and doesn't want to read about her getting a happy ending. I loved Darcy, though. Hands down my favorite Giffin heroine.

By: ami

ami — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 06:36:41 +0000

I started out with Something Blue, which I loved, and hated Baby Proof. I didn’t go back to read Something borrowed, because I actually loved Darcy and the way her romance turned out. Should I continue on to this one or go back to read something borrowed then this one?

By: Janine

Janine — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 00:28:58 +0000

Liz, I’m glad you enjoyed this book too. It looks like our grades matched.

S
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I do feel that it is the height of luxury for a couple to live in two cities like that. I guess I didn’t view it as a permanent solution, but as something that would change when they got tired of all that commuting after a few years.

I also felt that neither one was ready to make that sacirifice yet, but they were willing to put off the decision. Maybe Ellen’s new friends in Atlanta will make living there full time more okay for her, or maybe Andy will have enough of the law firm at some point and be willing to move away again.

By: Liz

Liz — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 22:19:31 +0000

I really enjoyed this book as I did with all Giffen’s books (Something Borrowed being my favorite) It kept my interest and I truly did not know who Ellen would choose at the end. Really the only problems I had with it was I thought the ending of her and Andy living apart in New York and Atlanta and seeing each other on weekends was a little ridiculous and I just can’t see happening in real life and working out (even though they had the money to make it happen). I literally rolled my eyes when I read this. I would have liked it better if they made a clear choice together- New York for Ellen, or Atlanta for Andy. I understand it was a compromise but it just seemed a little silly to me. Also, the rushed ending I completely agree with. I kept thinking to myself that the end when she is in the crux of her dilemma with Leo should have been somewhere in the middle of the book. I kept looking at the few dwindling pages left and wondering how on earth this story would be done in time and keep me satisfied with the result.

Overall I would also give this book a B+ it was enjoyable besides those couple of critiques.

By: Janine

Janine — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 06:03:25 +0000

I wish you the best of luck with all that you’re trying, and look forward to hearing your thoughts on the book, Jeff.

By: Jeff

Jeff — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 19:14:04 +0000

I appreciate your advise, and as of now we are in the process of trying everything, including what you mentioned.
As I move along in the book, I will try to provide a some insight from Andy’s point of view, and maybe a little from my wife’s point of view after she reads it.

By: Janine

Janine — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 17:52:04 +0000

Right after the death of my grandmother, I read a book in which the main character was grieving for her grandmother. I’m sure it affected my reading of the book and my feelings about my personal situation as well. Still, though fiction can be illuminating and comforting in times of personal crisis, nonfiction books about how to deal with that type of personal situation may be even more helpful, and so may counseling. I think those might be worth considering in your situation.

By: Jeff

Jeff — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 17:13:54 +0000

It is very tough. The hard part is that she, or we aren’t over the situation yet. We’re trying to make things work and she is getting better, but she doesn’t regret what happened in the past, and still isn’t sure which way to go. As of now, we’re both reading it, so we’ll see what kind of impact it may have.

By: Janine

Janine — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 16:17:39 +0000

Hi Jeff. It sounds like a tough situation to be in, and you have my sympathy. I don't know if the book will offer reassurance but it may provide some insights into what your wife is experiencing. It is great to see male readers contribute to our blog. We don't often get guys commenting on our reviews of m/f books, and the last time I remember it happening was when Carl commented on the conversational review we did of Megan Hart's Tempted, a book about a married couple that has a sexual relationship with the husband's friend, which then strains their marriage. Carl commented that the book was an unsettling one for him for personal reasons also.

By: Jeff

Jeff — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 14:10:16 +0000

This is a tough one for me as this almost exactly relates to the situation with my wife and I. I am “Andy”, and 9 years into our marriage, my wife revealed to me that she ran into her “Leo”, only she took it way to far at that time. She has let it go since then, but just last winter she ran into “Leo” again and sparked up those feelings all over again. I just started reading this a few days ago only because of how closely it relates to my own life. This could be interesting from the “Andy” point of view.