Like many, I wrote a reply to Ms. Butler. I did not call her names and I pointedly stated she has a right to express her point-of-view (no matter how wrong-headed I might personally find it). I rarely get involved in online kerfuffles like this one for various reasons, but I felt strongly enough about this to say something publicly.

So, I didn’t call Ms. Butler any names, but I can see how some were moved to do so. That there are people out there with attitudes like this scares the absolute SNOT out of me. These people frighten me to nauseousness. Fear breeds anger, which I definitely experienced while writing my response and fought to keep under control. I can see how easily tempers were lost since I almost lost mine.

I don’t think that excuses it. Ms. Butler painted everyone differing with her opinion with a fairly wide, distasteful brush. That doesn’t mean we should stoop to her level.

And while it might not be “right” to call someone names, I do think that Butler set the tone by accusng those who write romances featuring homosexual or polyamorous relationships as encouraging pedophilia and the moral decay of society. While maybe Butler wrapped her name calling up in pretty words, those were very provocative and hateful statements and she cannot be surprised that the response she received was hateful in return. Further, the language that she used in describing the demographic of the RWA reader appeared racist, another vitriolic (for NR) stab. If the debate was to be civil, Butler should have set a different tone. Yes, I am making the childish “she started it” argument.

If she expected civility in response, she should have started with civility in the first place. Here’s another biblical term for her: You reap what you sow.

I can understand why some pointed at Ms. Burke and cried: ‘psycho right-wing bitch’. It’s not my style to do so, but I get it. Her statements kind of opened her up for this response in certain quarters. However, I’d strongly object again, if someone said: ‘she’s a psycho right-wing bitch and so’s her Ma–and so’s anyone who agrees with any portion of anything she said.’

Generalizations annoy me. Generally.

Just as it annoyed me for Ms. Butler to state that anyone who objected to her particular viewpoint was shrill, was on the fringe–and later claimed all who disagreed were children. As I am in the disagree camp, I object to the labels, very much.

Mostly, I believe that reasoned statements and debate–however heated–have more impact than vitriol (which is a word I’ve seen used throughout this discussion, and like the sound of).

But when you start by tossing out insults, by making demands and claiming anyone who doesn’t agree is pretty much leading the march to perdition, you’re just asking for big, heaping piles of vitriol.

Nora

I’ll ask one final question and I am genuinely curious to hear the answer: is it okay for those who don’t agree with Ms. Butler to call her a “right whing whack job bitch?" On the flip side, is it also okay for her to call those who disagreed with her a “shrill, fringe, children"?

I really dislike name calling, but I think that sometimes people get so frustrated that they can’t articulate themselves and instead resort to easy, dismissive jabs. I haven’t given much thought to whether there is any real difference between imperiously declaring that someone is a “shrill minority” or responding with an equally disrespectful missle of “right wing psycho,” although the context in each situation might be worth considering. I tend to get pissed off at different things, incidents like the Wallace fiasco of a few weeks ago, while Butler’s comments basically made me dig in and figure out how I could craft a response of which I would feel proud. Because I went to school for a freakin’ long ass time to gather as many tools as possible with which to do that. But I also think I can distinguish between exasperated outrage and condescending dismissal, and while I don’t recommend either, one tends to offend my sensibilities more than the other (although I don’t condone unprovoked meanness under any circumstances). And I also think people have different ideas of what constitutes a “personal” attack, which may make a difference, as well.

BTW – I can safely assure you that I’m not Jan Butler. I wouldn’t want to be that woman for any amount of money in the world right now.

I merely wished to express my opinion on how this matter has been handled. I’m sorry if my use of the word “irregardless” makes me look like an idiot. I’m sure it won’t be the last time.

I wasn’t making an accusation – merely an observation. If you read it otherwise, I do apologize. I posted here because I saw the letter and wished to make a comment. If I posted the same question on every other blog that has discussed this issue, well, let’s just say the boss wouldn’t have been too happy with me ignoring the day job duties.

I’ll ask one final question and I am genuinely curious to hear the answer: is it okay for those who don’t agree with Ms. Butler to call her a “right whing whack job bitch?” On the flip side, is it also okay for her to call those who disagreed with her a “shrill, fringe, children”?

In my opinion, neither attitude is right. But again, that’s my opinion.

Anyway, at this point negative responses ARE being leveled at Ms. Butler. They are the result of her own behavior. She threw a public hissy fit and did it in a weak, poorly thought out manner. When the world decided to respond, she disabled comment responses on her blog, ran around in the blogosphere pitching more hissy fits (anonymously… wink wink), and proved herself to be just as ugly and distasteful a person as her silly diatrabe was.

Holy exposure, Batman! I think your true colors are peeping through your super-tights!

Of course I agree with your right to speak out – I am FIRMLY of the opinion that we all have the right to express our opinions. But I fervently wish that we could do it in a dignified manner which you, Nora, have accomplished quite admirably. I thank you for that. Others have also done so, and I also give a heart “thank you” for achieving that balance. But it disturbs me to see this vitriol. I really hope I am not alone.

I’ve opposed Ms. Butler’s opinions, but you’ll have to point out to me where I’ve been nasty or tasteless. I don’t think I could be pursuaded that my arguments against her statements and opinions are uncalled for.

I disagree strongly with her statements and opinions, and her demands that an organization of which I’m a long-time member define itself and the genre it represents by her standards. When I disagree strongly, I’m going to speak out, and hopefully, express my own opinion clearly.

She, otoh, indicated that those who disagreed were shrill, fringe and children. I find those statements insulting.

So is that why she has been called a right-wing bitch, a whacko nut job and other various assorted insults? That doesn’t seem to be hateful of just the arguments, but hateful of the person, as well. Irregardless of what stance I take on the subject, I have found the comments from those who oppose Ms. Butler’s opinion to be nasty, tasteless, and all around uncalled for.

Though on some level I almost feel sorry for this woman, almost but not quite. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel, her views are so narrow, who would actually stand up for her.

The sad thing, she’s whining she’s entitled to her opinion, but forgets so is everyone else.

Wow. Just wow. Put so much better than I ever could.

Oh and hey, I spent a lot of time in those tents growing up too. It’s probably why I’m such a shrill deviant today.